twist me
too few thumbscrews used on thumbs;
full of skull - numb aching dull
JUL 24 2024
full of skull - numb aching dull
JUL 24 2024
ironed wrinkles
tidy my bed every morn,
every crease which does adorn
every crease which does adorn
...
accompanies from day through night -
kittens later scratch and paw;
resembled there in coffee ripples;
mailman's uniform evokes;
rain on windows emulate
kittens later scratch and paw;
resembled there in coffee ripples;
mailman's uniform evokes;
rain on windows emulate
...
seasoned suppers sniffed before, but
spewed brews stain on foreign shapes;
ravines are unexplored these days,
a mimicked jocularity;
anthem on a shower speaker
spewed brews stain on foreign shapes;
ravines are unexplored these days,
a mimicked jocularity;
anthem on a shower speaker
... these
cobs which don't relinquish corn, a
born, worn form - never forlorned;
certain i'll soberly scorn
these cotton layers never shorn.
MAY 26 2024
born, worn form - never forlorned;
certain i'll soberly scorn
these cotton layers never shorn.
MAY 26 2024
3 watts
that struck me as a good idea;
like a slap to the facce
from a child's palm,
unbridled by the callouses
earned through handshakes
with wicked men.
OCT 31 2023
like a slap to the facce
from a child's palm,
unbridled by the callouses
earned through handshakes
with wicked men.
OCT 31 2023
Oktoberfest is for September
What is more? -
The aesthetic magnanimity of the dandelion,
or the grace of its components floating with the zephyr?
The supple marshmallow held in hand,
or roasted; charred with an alabaster flow?
The slice of subtle sourdough,
or a toasted tranche avec du beurre blanc?
The wriggle of a baby's squish,
or waddled slap of play-doh toes on hardwood?
The buzz of ink splattered on prickled skin,
or its staggered, loving message left within?
I think both.
OCT 17 2021
The aesthetic magnanimity of the dandelion,
or the grace of its components floating with the zephyr?
The supple marshmallow held in hand,
or roasted; charred with an alabaster flow?
The slice of subtle sourdough,
or a toasted tranche avec du beurre blanc?
The wriggle of a baby's squish,
or waddled slap of play-doh toes on hardwood?
The buzz of ink splattered on prickled skin,
or its staggered, loving message left within?
I think both.
OCT 17 2021
dukes up
The Real Thing™ - or
at the very least a dead ringer.
fidelity fills the fists with which
it marks its resemblance upon
the unexpecting tongue in cheek.
clad in a glittery, slim-fit iteration
of the suit it would otherwise don.
sweat drips down sweet lips;
the triumphant tower, hands on hips
as a standing eight-count rattles on.
JUL 14 2020
at the very least a dead ringer.
fidelity fills the fists with which
it marks its resemblance upon
the unexpecting tongue in cheek.
clad in a glittery, slim-fit iteration
of the suit it would otherwise don.
sweat drips down sweet lips;
the triumphant tower, hands on hips
as a standing eight-count rattles on.
JUL 14 2020
homemade bread
a flail of the legs and
a kick in the teeth -
baby-soft are the moans,
the sheets, and beneath.
reveille's bugle sings me
so gently to sleep
though the oven's timer,
it never shall beep.
JUN 25 2020
a kick in the teeth -
baby-soft are the moans,
the sheets, and beneath.
reveille's bugle sings me
so gently to sleep
though the oven's timer,
it never shall beep.
JUN 25 2020
black lives matter
back by the fence like a gentleman,
i spent my liquid sentiment.
we no longer jump into the fog,
only in unflipped lucky smog.
tin can with a citronella flame
tells bugs what's truly in a name.
a fortnight, two or three or four...
rose sprog sprouts sprightly from the floor.
JUN 5 2020
i spent my liquid sentiment.
we no longer jump into the fog,
only in unflipped lucky smog.
tin can with a citronella flame
tells bugs what's truly in a name.
a fortnight, two or three or four...
rose sprog sprouts sprightly from the floor.
JUN 5 2020
Uneven Ululations
-
To Try The Tart Twice:
That Tests The Tastes
That Tickled Tongues,
That Trickles Thenceforth,
That Ties The Trance To Textures
That Tear The Tears To Told Tales Tall;
They Tumble To Thine Toes.
-
[Till Third Try Thusly Turns...]
MAY 27 2020
To Try The Tart Twice:
That Tests The Tastes
That Tickled Tongues,
That Trickles Thenceforth,
That Ties The Trance To Textures
That Tear The Tears To Told Tales Tall;
They Tumble To Thine Toes.
-
[Till Third Try Thusly Turns...]
MAY 27 2020
leader of the horn section
i was 12 years old when i learned to march
"roll heel to toe" - never stiff as starch.
as our concerts neared you feared we'd b flat,
i was sick for one; menthol hall's fixed that.
you had me tickle ivories on both your Bad Days,
solo Hound Dog on stage when you removed a page
from the lacquered bell when i stood up and shone -
never called me out when i would look at my phone.
called other kids "twats" from between your pursed lips,
called out of work when the aches settled low in your hips.
let me borrow blue books when i'd finished the red,
50 minutes' rehearsal would oft drain the dread.
my arm snapped in half while i cleaned up your show,
my face clad in makeup under lights would glow.
black mold tarnished classrooms so i would feign coughs,
i hope your departure was a one-take pass-off.
MAY 24 2020
"roll heel to toe" - never stiff as starch.
as our concerts neared you feared we'd b flat,
i was sick for one; menthol hall's fixed that.
you had me tickle ivories on both your Bad Days,
solo Hound Dog on stage when you removed a page
from the lacquered bell when i stood up and shone -
never called me out when i would look at my phone.
called other kids "twats" from between your pursed lips,
called out of work when the aches settled low in your hips.
let me borrow blue books when i'd finished the red,
50 minutes' rehearsal would oft drain the dread.
my arm snapped in half while i cleaned up your show,
my face clad in makeup under lights would glow.
black mold tarnished classrooms so i would feign coughs,
i hope your departure was a one-take pass-off.
MAY 24 2020
36π
i was scared so i left because i thought i was scared of where i was. i drove 10 hours and 700 miles only to arrive and find the fear had followed me here and my room was no longer my own. there were boxes of things that were mine and boxes of things that i recognized as having once been mine some time ago. there's still a space for me here and there always will be so i'm told, a 6-foot radius revolves around me as i revolve around a sun that will burn out one day. as time passes i find that security is of growing importance and ever more elusive. what happens when standard safety practices no longer yield the same results of reassurance? it's easy to pick and choose like a claw machine the exceptions i'm willing to make, those that i'm willing to cling to because their warmth and hold on me far exceeds any fear i have of the unknown. and yet even as we embrace i feel this sentiment leave me, much like i left the place that rattled me with anguish at the notion of a worst case scenario. i know in my heart of hearts that everyone is scared and suppressing the urges to which i instinctively respond, and i wonder whose is the more reasonable way to be. i don't think we'll ever reach an accord on that front, but we can all agree that we wish these menaces would evaporate and the sky would cease its self-imposed exile and i can smile when i wear sunglasses again.
APR 16 2020
APR 16 2020
maslow's slapdash cellar
i want a 2bed / 1bath hut with a steel
frame and cement walls. i want clocks
with every time zone hung along the
invisible arrow going from the center
hearth to those foreign localities. and
then i'd like a big calendar projected
on a ceiling made from a whiteboard
so i can map out my plans weeks in
advance with cans of spray paint
since dry-erase pens would defeat
the purpose entirely - every sound
structure needs a solid foundation.
so naturally, i would have someone
else build it for me while i patiently
await its completion in the basement.
APR 14 2020
frame and cement walls. i want clocks
with every time zone hung along the
invisible arrow going from the center
hearth to those foreign localities. and
then i'd like a big calendar projected
on a ceiling made from a whiteboard
so i can map out my plans weeks in
advance with cans of spray paint
since dry-erase pens would defeat
the purpose entirely - every sound
structure needs a solid foundation.
so naturally, i would have someone
else build it for me while i patiently
await its completion in the basement.
APR 14 2020
walmart's curbside carousel
the ranks of the so-called "old souls"
include they few who were forced to bear witness to
lessons taught in real-time on overhead transparencies,
seduced by the scent of dry-erase vis-a-vis pens but
longing for the cyclical click of a slide projector.
that vein of visual aid was laden with issues,
like subjective timelines and a frantic progression
resembling CDs flipping in a johnny rocket jukebox.
nowadays it's easier to teach what we
already know by just sharing our screens,
but it will never be so easy again to share a soundtrack.
APR 9 2020
include they few who were forced to bear witness to
lessons taught in real-time on overhead transparencies,
seduced by the scent of dry-erase vis-a-vis pens but
longing for the cyclical click of a slide projector.
that vein of visual aid was laden with issues,
like subjective timelines and a frantic progression
resembling CDs flipping in a johnny rocket jukebox.
nowadays it's easier to teach what we
already know by just sharing our screens,
but it will never be so easy again to share a soundtrack.
APR 9 2020
3 inches and a world away
when i was little i wanted a pool in the backyard and a sub-
arctic winter so when fall rolled around and i emerged
from my room in swim trunks it would be plain for
all to see that i was off to go join the penguins in
a slalom between the translucent lines clad with
rusty hooks dangling through holes with sensible
men gathered round hoping light refracted in such a
way that i'd mistake them for lifeguards and take the bait.
APR 6 2020
arctic winter so when fall rolled around and i emerged
from my room in swim trunks it would be plain for
all to see that i was off to go join the penguins in
a slalom between the translucent lines clad with
rusty hooks dangling through holes with sensible
men gathered round hoping light refracted in such a
way that i'd mistake them for lifeguards and take the bait.
APR 6 2020
vitamin d: bedtime prayer for an insomniac
in dying embers of the night,
we find what most call 'morning light'
and all the things we said "we might"
now left there for us to ignite.
APR 3 2020
we find what most call 'morning light'
and all the things we said "we might"
now left there for us to ignite.
APR 3 2020
i'm not spiraling [sic]
hurling about all that once held dear, and the stampede is
audible from mere miles away interrupting me midshave
in what has become something of a ritual rebirth
for me with a noticeable shedding of the skin
and watching it lazily float into the pool of brackish
shaving cream and rugged dreams like
a manmade maelstrom swirling around
a rusty, clogged drain - one in which i often
catch the latest update of my reflection,
a subscription made in haste years ago that
i have long forgotten to cancel
since its core message always seems
to find me whether i like it or not
despite vain diversion attempts with
phony email addresses a list of
which itself would prove a chore
a chore to devise, grasping
at gusts that would pass through
my fingers; i feel
grains of a familiar
texture and try to
predict what they
might be only to find
another's pride
trampled and
i'd be missed
altogether.
APR 2 2020
audible from mere miles away interrupting me midshave
in what has become something of a ritual rebirth
for me with a noticeable shedding of the skin
and watching it lazily float into the pool of brackish
shaving cream and rugged dreams like
a manmade maelstrom swirling around
a rusty, clogged drain - one in which i often
catch the latest update of my reflection,
a subscription made in haste years ago that
i have long forgotten to cancel
since its core message always seems
to find me whether i like it or not
despite vain diversion attempts with
phony email addresses a list of
which itself would prove a chore
a chore to devise, grasping
at gusts that would pass through
my fingers; i feel
grains of a familiar
texture and try to
predict what they
might be only to find
another's pride
trampled and
i'd be missed
altogether.
APR 2 2020
100 days til exile: day 1
sailing across the mediterranean, napoleon
and the sea alike reflected on the respective ships:
undaunted there, inconstant back.
what a grand scheme to land me here! how fruitful
this harvest of nurtured disdain must have been! estranged
from all promised allowance, dangling from the
strings of a puppeteer whilst perched uneasily upon mine
own throne - coal-dusted though it be. may the waters of
their fountain run red against the label of their namesake!
<< l'empereur! - behold him in his cage! >>
--------
mounting the steed attendant on the riviera he twisted
the reigns between his fingers, reminiscent of the motion
of that impotent capsule rolling about his palm.
a dread of what might be has made this man my liege...
ney - what has been! may i not be dissuaded by how he
tergiversates! frozen not by the tundra was he, but the very
same chill which shakes him now as he lays down his
musket - hear the mechanisms within rattle as it strikes the
ground, or maybe it is his conviction.
<< au nord! >> he proclaimed to the 5th, furtively uncertain
--------
shared awareness of the uncanny was lost
on neither him nor his regiment. with their compass
pointed to paris, his aimed to that ash in the atlantic.
what i wouldn't give for another weekend in my chamber!
'tis all but certain i'll never make it to austria, and if i do i'll
have surely missed the requiem! no matter- i have composed
my own, free of that ghastly air which preoccupies such
affairs. i trust my love will have a box from which to
consume its misleading fanfare and i, from the stage her
gasp!
<< here i am - kill your emperor! >> the rehearsal resumes...
APR 2 2020
and the sea alike reflected on the respective ships:
undaunted there, inconstant back.
what a grand scheme to land me here! how fruitful
this harvest of nurtured disdain must have been! estranged
from all promised allowance, dangling from the
strings of a puppeteer whilst perched uneasily upon mine
own throne - coal-dusted though it be. may the waters of
their fountain run red against the label of their namesake!
<< l'empereur! - behold him in his cage! >>
--------
mounting the steed attendant on the riviera he twisted
the reigns between his fingers, reminiscent of the motion
of that impotent capsule rolling about his palm.
a dread of what might be has made this man my liege...
ney - what has been! may i not be dissuaded by how he
tergiversates! frozen not by the tundra was he, but the very
same chill which shakes him now as he lays down his
musket - hear the mechanisms within rattle as it strikes the
ground, or maybe it is his conviction.
<< au nord! >> he proclaimed to the 5th, furtively uncertain
--------
shared awareness of the uncanny was lost
on neither him nor his regiment. with their compass
pointed to paris, his aimed to that ash in the atlantic.
what i wouldn't give for another weekend in my chamber!
'tis all but certain i'll never make it to austria, and if i do i'll
have surely missed the requiem! no matter- i have composed
my own, free of that ghastly air which preoccupies such
affairs. i trust my love will have a box from which to
consume its misleading fanfare and i, from the stage her
gasp!
<< here i am - kill your emperor! >> the rehearsal resumes...
APR 2 2020
"Your outbox is full."
speak to me of icebergs and i'll lay down $14.28
in a defiant claim that
freud was onto something.
the bends become an ally as i
cross-examine each bubble
paroled from the glassy abyss.
i feel unjust in labeling the vapors
liberated from their bursts
'nothing
short of dubious".
it's a luckless endeavor - the quest for cleanup - when
insufficient and far too delicate
for the messes we fail to withhold
has the plunder proven to be.
treasure chests of water rest
unguarded on every corner
if only we demonstrate the patience
to penetrate them. which begs the
question, 'what are you hoarding,
and is it worth washing away?"
MAR 28 2020
in a defiant claim that
freud was onto something.
the bends become an ally as i
cross-examine each bubble
paroled from the glassy abyss.
i feel unjust in labeling the vapors
liberated from their bursts
'nothing
short of dubious".
it's a luckless endeavor - the quest for cleanup - when
insufficient and far too delicate
for the messes we fail to withhold
has the plunder proven to be.
treasure chests of water rest
unguarded on every corner
if only we demonstrate the patience
to penetrate them. which begs the
question, 'what are you hoarding,
and is it worth washing away?"
MAR 28 2020
smoke and mirrors
as children
we sculpt petri dishes
for our parents
in art class
under the guise
of american heritage
because we don't know
to call it an ashtray
and lack the vocabulary
necessary to tell them
one day we'll be the death of them.
hopefully cobalt glaze will suffice.
MAR 27 2020
we sculpt petri dishes
for our parents
in art class
under the guise
of american heritage
because we don't know
to call it an ashtray
and lack the vocabulary
necessary to tell them
one day we'll be the death of them.
hopefully cobalt glaze will suffice.
MAR 27 2020
discerning palate
what could taste better,
in this moment,
than 10mg of melatonin
and your morning breath?
JAN 26 2020
in this moment,
than 10mg of melatonin
and your morning breath?
JAN 26 2020
does that plant blossom?
the trees stand bare, unabashed,
yet flurries prefer to perch, unperturbed,
with sturdy roots in the flyaways, underwhelmed,
while the rope bridges swing solemnly, unduly.
it's reportedly 21 degrees out now, unfortunately.
the margins decree it "feels like 9", unarguably,
so why don't they tell it like it is?
understood, wind-kissed knuckles flake
unmistakably, brittle though they bend.
i cannot wait for the heft of fruit -
JAN 20 2020
yet flurries prefer to perch, unperturbed,
with sturdy roots in the flyaways, underwhelmed,
while the rope bridges swing solemnly, unduly.
it's reportedly 21 degrees out now, unfortunately.
the margins decree it "feels like 9", unarguably,
so why don't they tell it like it is?
understood, wind-kissed knuckles flake
unmistakably, brittle though they bend.
i cannot wait for the heft of fruit -
JAN 20 2020
THIS IN NOT A NOTIFICATION
the bees they buzz
and the doors they squeak,
though flames no longer crackle -
all the walls i've punched
and the pictures hung,
well i'd best invest in spackle -
JAN 6 2020
and the doors they squeak,
though flames no longer crackle -
all the walls i've punched
and the pictures hung,
well i'd best invest in spackle -
JAN 6 2020
"i take my breaks at 2:30 now"
the single jingle bell was removed,
so i
slipped
silently through the garage, across the slick
grey-blue floor where i sometimes tell people
i learned how to kick
-flip
tinkering with the loose screw
in the doorknob,
i carefully
inch past the trash cans on which i stubbed my toe
sometimes, wracked with guilt when i'd
"forget" to recycle an
empty
-can
the persistent titter of the sprinklers
falls
favorably,
forming crop circles on the wet stones leading
around the drenched hedges and sloping down
to my car beneath the lone
street
-light
gracelessly perched atop the spare
pavers,
plumes
prance an esophageal tarantella into my void,
staining every bite, filtering every breath through
a pair of eyes accustomed to
fever
-dreams
DEC 4 2019
so i
slipped
silently through the garage, across the slick
grey-blue floor where i sometimes tell people
i learned how to kick
-flip
tinkering with the loose screw
in the doorknob,
i carefully
inch past the trash cans on which i stubbed my toe
sometimes, wracked with guilt when i'd
"forget" to recycle an
empty
-can
the persistent titter of the sprinklers
falls
favorably,
forming crop circles on the wet stones leading
around the drenched hedges and sloping down
to my car beneath the lone
street
-light
gracelessly perched atop the spare
pavers,
plumes
prance an esophageal tarantella into my void,
staining every bite, filtering every breath through
a pair of eyes accustomed to
fever
-dreams
DEC 4 2019
'HAND WASH COLD'
the rags which sop up wet regrets draped in dregs
overhead - nary
a cop to stop
and arrest the
growing closeness
of noses to
clothes reeking of
snuggles.
on warm, humid morns
i scorn the cold, dry nights i imbibed. because
sometimes the scent of
laundry
gives me a
migraine.
NOV 12 2019
overhead - nary
a cop to stop
and arrest the
growing closeness
of noses to
clothes reeking of
snuggles.
on warm, humid morns
i scorn the cold, dry nights i imbibed. because
sometimes the scent of
laundry
gives me a
migraine.
NOV 12 2019
c. 2015
Lone loose strands stand on
the ground are you still there
when I'm not around
Before our encounter I thought
my sanity sound, how
can something exist so loud?
JAN 6 2019
the ground are you still there
when I'm not around
Before our encounter I thought
my sanity sound, how
can something exist so loud?
JAN 6 2019
cement
a slate grey plasmic substance
envelops a body in motion
rendering inertia a thing of the past.
too stubborn to give way for bubbles
and the thought streaks through my head
if this is preferable to quicksand.
next stop on the express train is
the bold assertion of a misnomer and
vacillation over what constitutes "speed".
a hasty choice of words maroons me
on a platform of ambivalence and caprice;
too distraught to give a ticket a glance.
someone ought to educate lethargy
on the perils of shirking responsibility -
if you wondered why i'm not there to
wish you a merry christmas to your face.
DEC 25 2018
envelops a body in motion
rendering inertia a thing of the past.
too stubborn to give way for bubbles
and the thought streaks through my head
if this is preferable to quicksand.
next stop on the express train is
the bold assertion of a misnomer and
vacillation over what constitutes "speed".
a hasty choice of words maroons me
on a platform of ambivalence and caprice;
too distraught to give a ticket a glance.
someone ought to educate lethargy
on the perils of shirking responsibility -
if you wondered why i'm not there to
wish you a merry christmas to your face.
DEC 25 2018
i left the LAN party while
still connected to
the hot spot
to see how far i could get
before the network
stopped its attempts
to re-establish
a link
DEC 8 2018
still connected to
the hot spot
to see how far i could get
before the network
stopped its attempts
to re-establish
a link
DEC 8 2018
whoever was so irresponsible as to leave his goggles unlocked surely intended a lesson to be derived by the trespasser in question.
those translucent cans have fused to my forehead, my cheekbones padded by a singular strip of insulating silicone.
every ray to the retina leave streaks upon the screens like obsolete software, wildly disorienting the motherboard if only for a moment.
speckles and spots freckle sights where they're not; flashes flicker, the slashed slickly crash quicker.
cut to: the tummy-turned-toddler tiptoeing a tightrope; mine steps stir the stolen - climbing stairs to stretch, tighten, heighten tension.
this headband is too tight.
MAY 8 2018
those translucent cans have fused to my forehead, my cheekbones padded by a singular strip of insulating silicone.
every ray to the retina leave streaks upon the screens like obsolete software, wildly disorienting the motherboard if only for a moment.
speckles and spots freckle sights where they're not; flashes flicker, the slashed slickly crash quicker.
cut to: the tummy-turned-toddler tiptoeing a tightrope; mine steps stir the stolen - climbing stairs to stretch, tighten, heighten tension.
this headband is too tight.
MAY 8 2018
tea-tended tummy rumbles the preferred
choice to my favorite foods
spotify playlists consist of a single track
looped thirty times
waves of impulse drown each other under a
full moon masked by the overcast
calls from my new beach house go straight to
voicemail and texts remain undelivered
my new body wash dries out my skin - only on
my left shoulder, but still
i live in a fios community, though co-axial
technology is still decades away
gas pumps take my money from open buffet
trays as the fuel leaks out from under
car windows always lowered though the
mosquito mesh confines
my bedmate bugs me, begging big spoon duty
as all six appendages embrace me
i drift off to the sounds of strangers brushing
their hair and wake up without any
everything is as it ought to be -
choice to my favorite foods
spotify playlists consist of a single track
looped thirty times
waves of impulse drown each other under a
full moon masked by the overcast
calls from my new beach house go straight to
voicemail and texts remain undelivered
my new body wash dries out my skin - only on
my left shoulder, but still
i live in a fios community, though co-axial
technology is still decades away
gas pumps take my money from open buffet
trays as the fuel leaks out from under
car windows always lowered though the
mosquito mesh confines
my bedmate bugs me, begging big spoon duty
as all six appendages embrace me
i drift off to the sounds of strangers brushing
their hair and wake up without any
everything is as it ought to be -
MAR 31 2018
memoirs of a mirror
"where'd the step stool go?
and your two front teeth?"
"I see you let your hair grow
like a black, bushy wreath"
"where'd those bumps come from?
don't pop them, please."
"shave, you teenage bum.
you've got no time to tweeze"
"don't forget to floss,
too seldom and you'll bleed."
"try to lay off the sauce,
not the spirit you need."
"how old's that frown?
who drew on your skin?"
"son, you look so down
but this game - no one wins."
OCT 25 2017
and your two front teeth?"
"I see you let your hair grow
like a black, bushy wreath"
"where'd those bumps come from?
don't pop them, please."
"shave, you teenage bum.
you've got no time to tweeze"
"don't forget to floss,
too seldom and you'll bleed."
"try to lay off the sauce,
not the spirit you need."
"how old's that frown?
who drew on your skin?"
"son, you look so down
but this game - no one wins."
OCT 25 2017
fifteen steps forward upon a frozen lake
did i follow when first i felt freedom,
fall through i did not though fully forgiven
would i have felt had i done.
fire filled my core as curiosity came closer,
creeping to consciousness. still i stood,
shivering in my sheep-skinned shoes,
shuddering at the notion of narwhal neighbors.
why would one want to wonder what the other did?
waiting the 'wonewy whiwe wike a widdle kid?'
"walking down the street -"
i wish i'd never said that and
simply swallowed my slice.
i've seen her climb a mountain just to taste
the snow at the top, and yet every sno-cone
stand on the corner of all the avenues were
not enough to hydrate the heads of the hydra.
SEPT 12 2017
did i follow when first i felt freedom,
fall through i did not though fully forgiven
would i have felt had i done.
fire filled my core as curiosity came closer,
creeping to consciousness. still i stood,
shivering in my sheep-skinned shoes,
shuddering at the notion of narwhal neighbors.
why would one want to wonder what the other did?
waiting the 'wonewy whiwe wike a widdle kid?'
"walking down the street -"
i wish i'd never said that and
simply swallowed my slice.
i've seen her climb a mountain just to taste
the snow at the top, and yet every sno-cone
stand on the corner of all the avenues were
not enough to hydrate the heads of the hydra.
SEPT 12 2017
four cans of courage united by
popular demand and a search for
external resolution to an inability
to approach the pinball machine.
funny how domination can seize
the strongest of inanimates, a
state brought upon them by the
living and dead, akin to existence.
springing into action, the shiny ball
hurtles towards unfamiliar obstacles
illuminated by neon lights when all
they desire is to be left alone - rest.
bumper to bumper traffic affecting
even the unlicensed to kill, whether
on the road or long before; preemptively
slowing a vagrant's stroll home.
i wish every drink came with an umbrella.
SEPT 8 2017
popular demand and a search for
external resolution to an inability
to approach the pinball machine.
funny how domination can seize
the strongest of inanimates, a
state brought upon them by the
living and dead, akin to existence.
springing into action, the shiny ball
hurtles towards unfamiliar obstacles
illuminated by neon lights when all
they desire is to be left alone - rest.
bumper to bumper traffic affecting
even the unlicensed to kill, whether
on the road or long before; preemptively
slowing a vagrant's stroll home.
i wish every drink came with an umbrella.
SEPT 8 2017
beads of sweat and glittery plastic
adorning both her wrists
made redundant mating calls -
they beckoned the mosquito's kiss.
with each slurp she swore she felt
the blood she knew she wouldn't miss.
a tiny bump - the sole souvenir -
one could call it a parting gift.
gone by morning it would surely be
at one with the abyss.
she tugged her socks above her knees,
and right back down they slipped.
it buzzed farewell, her temporary
lover took off with both his lips.
empty now she felt herself,
though pumping still her veins.
the itch it left - omnipotent -
til washed off by new reigns.
SEPT 7 2017
adorning both her wrists
made redundant mating calls -
they beckoned the mosquito's kiss.
with each slurp she swore she felt
the blood she knew she wouldn't miss.
a tiny bump - the sole souvenir -
one could call it a parting gift.
gone by morning it would surely be
at one with the abyss.
she tugged her socks above her knees,
and right back down they slipped.
it buzzed farewell, her temporary
lover took off with both his lips.
empty now she felt herself,
though pumping still her veins.
the itch it left - omnipotent -
til washed off by new reigns.
SEPT 7 2017
the gander did itself:
a gaggle of geese gargled grog,
floating around a flock, finding friendship -
defenses down, they found they didn't drown.
good for them, gathered the gander.
he waddled west towards his nest,
which overlooked the others'.
i wish the best for them,
each and every eggy gem.
he laid his head beneath his wing
in hot pursuit of REM.
SEPT 6 2017
a gaggle of geese gargled grog,
floating around a flock, finding friendship -
defenses down, they found they didn't drown.
good for them, gathered the gander.
he waddled west towards his nest,
which overlooked the others'.
i wish the best for them,
each and every eggy gem.
he laid his head beneath his wing
in hot pursuit of REM.
SEPT 6 2017
if christmas had a naughty cousin,
he'd surely come to diner.
there'd be an anti-santa -
looking like luigi -
he'd have no need
for a bag.
(though if he had,
he'd owe 5p/per
and - much like taxes -
we all would pay the fee.)
i asked for an r/c car -
he took my puppy's bone.
a puddle of curdled milk
and the crumbs of stale cookies -
all that's left in his wake.
hailing from a dusty ghetto,
a downright dog-eat-dog,
he became geppetto,
and i, merely a cog.
SEPT 5 2017
he'd surely come to diner.
there'd be an anti-santa -
looking like luigi -
he'd have no need
for a bag.
(though if he had,
he'd owe 5p/per
and - much like taxes -
we all would pay the fee.)
i asked for an r/c car -
he took my puppy's bone.
a puddle of curdled milk
and the crumbs of stale cookies -
all that's left in his wake.
hailing from a dusty ghetto,
a downright dog-eat-dog,
he became geppetto,
and i, merely a cog.
SEPT 5 2017
3 years ago;
that's where this scent is from
2 weeks;
an open-water race in a sidewalk puddle
11 months;
too soon for a new driver's license
16 days;
certainly a long walk home
JUL 15 2017
that's where this scent is from
2 weeks;
an open-water race in a sidewalk puddle
11 months;
too soon for a new driver's license
16 days;
certainly a long walk home
JUL 15 2017
i'm pissed that michael lost the fight -
meanwhile he's the one with the bloody mug -
do they watch tape? or -
do they only get one view?
envy is too strong a word
for my feelings toward their ignorance.
if i think of one, i'll let you know.
as the canvas smeared crimson,
and crunches echoed loud as
crowds' senseless jeers,
i noticed the judges' faces:
the first seemed distracted, while
another indulged in popcorn shrimp.
(don't tell his husband)
judge number 3 reminded me of
a guy i saw posing in a magazine.
acceptance.
that's how i felt about it.
JUL 7 2017
meanwhile he's the one with the bloody mug -
do they watch tape? or -
do they only get one view?
envy is too strong a word
for my feelings toward their ignorance.
if i think of one, i'll let you know.
as the canvas smeared crimson,
and crunches echoed loud as
crowds' senseless jeers,
i noticed the judges' faces:
the first seemed distracted, while
another indulged in popcorn shrimp.
(don't tell his husband)
judge number 3 reminded me of
a guy i saw posing in a magazine.
acceptance.
that's how i felt about it.
JUL 7 2017
all i ever wanted was space
walk-up optimal in formative years
proximity to polaris preferable
envy at the style with which buzz fell
holding hand: mandatory
but i can't stand clams
so private plans scrammed by a physical ban
digits fidget in the head's stead
apologies to the previously-thought property
- not to hint misogyny -
obviously oddity
plagued the stage
to stifle rage
in staggered stages
there's a reason altitude and attitude
are a letter off
and i'm so gassy in the mountains
JUL 4 2017
walk-up optimal in formative years
proximity to polaris preferable
envy at the style with which buzz fell
holding hand: mandatory
but i can't stand clams
so private plans scrammed by a physical ban
digits fidget in the head's stead
apologies to the previously-thought property
- not to hint misogyny -
obviously oddity
plagued the stage
to stifle rage
in staggered stages
there's a reason altitude and attitude
are a letter off
and i'm so gassy in the mountains
JUL 4 2017
yes i am, a talking pair of ewoks to stroll upon the building blocks
poprocks caught in the middle of a rainstorm going off like midnight dynamite
breeding looks forlorn as no one ever warns one of the contorting form or flavor that
makes a man waver and jitter, change behavior and quit her
wait did i say her. or her? pay for some hay and lay there, matte black plastic
like saran wrap lines inside a truck bed for a stuck head to ash away
the issues and all the “i really miss yous” with their ghostly flutters heaven bent
but never sent, split the rent, say what you meant, but please don’t dip into
savings till every other penny’s spent or lying heads up on the pavement.
as waves sent over your head ripple through space and splash your face
as we turn up [the corners of our mouths]
falling asleep with my arms reaching for the manifestation of a godly preaching,
or am i mistaken; is it my body tweaking? no longer do i let the state fair judge
do my speaking, but i have to give him some relief so we settle for leaking
out weakling mutters like peanut butter on an english muffin, melting as it seeps
and stuffs in every nook and cranny. i wonder if the nanny has a favorite kind of
cream cheese, show her a comprehensive list and she says “i dream of these.”
tupperware of homemade guacamole remains sealed to keep it holy, til its little
turkey pal skedaddles on over and paddles off the cliffs of dover, pulling a
ripcord before it’s over, tugged up by the shoulders and bumping into boulders
will do the trick in the endeavor to feel older, bolder. i sold her a cold bowl
popcorn to stop scorn for and encourage eyes to just face forward
as the lights turn down [for what?]
MAY 3 2016
poprocks caught in the middle of a rainstorm going off like midnight dynamite
breeding looks forlorn as no one ever warns one of the contorting form or flavor that
makes a man waver and jitter, change behavior and quit her
wait did i say her. or her? pay for some hay and lay there, matte black plastic
like saran wrap lines inside a truck bed for a stuck head to ash away
the issues and all the “i really miss yous” with their ghostly flutters heaven bent
but never sent, split the rent, say what you meant, but please don’t dip into
savings till every other penny’s spent or lying heads up on the pavement.
as waves sent over your head ripple through space and splash your face
as we turn up [the corners of our mouths]
falling asleep with my arms reaching for the manifestation of a godly preaching,
or am i mistaken; is it my body tweaking? no longer do i let the state fair judge
do my speaking, but i have to give him some relief so we settle for leaking
out weakling mutters like peanut butter on an english muffin, melting as it seeps
and stuffs in every nook and cranny. i wonder if the nanny has a favorite kind of
cream cheese, show her a comprehensive list and she says “i dream of these.”
tupperware of homemade guacamole remains sealed to keep it holy, til its little
turkey pal skedaddles on over and paddles off the cliffs of dover, pulling a
ripcord before it’s over, tugged up by the shoulders and bumping into boulders
will do the trick in the endeavor to feel older, bolder. i sold her a cold bowl
popcorn to stop scorn for and encourage eyes to just face forward
as the lights turn down [for what?]
MAY 3 2016
memory hoarder
i have 5 sd cards that don’t belong to me
and 21 years of nostalgia that does
APR 17 2016
and 21 years of nostalgia that does
APR 17 2016
HYDYTT
i feel a stronger sense of agency on the white water rapids
someone just threw me a paddle
i kicked a ball badly and ignored the pain
i did the same with some words i heard
on a balcony overlooking a large potted plant-turned-ashtray
i know what i like and what i need
when i sit down with fork and knife to feed
read shit spit writs ponder fonder times
that never existed trust i mustn’t’ve missed it
bursting bubbles slurping troubles
upchucking them luckily for me to see
manifested idiocy
an empty backpack i put on before a week in the woods
i return home safely and neglect to mention my oversight
it’s just a family of mosquitos in the middle of winter
and yet nobody’s ankles are nibbled
despite possessing candle sticks and waxen wicks
i don’t attempt to flick my bic
and justify it to myself muttering “smoking kills”
on the way to the gas station for the third time today
a poke to the stomach was all it took and shaken
to attention was the soldier rifle on back and cocked to fire
and tried as i might’ve i swatted the prods
and somehow reversed the direction of the brands
i don’t know what this is, but i’m just going with it
i didn’t hear what you said, but you don’t have to repeat yourself
i’ll rent it from blockbuster when it comes out on vhs
max keeble’s big move was my latest acquisition
someone just threw me a paddle
i kicked a ball badly and ignored the pain
i did the same with some words i heard
on a balcony overlooking a large potted plant-turned-ashtray
i know what i like and what i need
when i sit down with fork and knife to feed
read shit spit writs ponder fonder times
that never existed trust i mustn’t’ve missed it
bursting bubbles slurping troubles
upchucking them luckily for me to see
manifested idiocy
an empty backpack i put on before a week in the woods
i return home safely and neglect to mention my oversight
it’s just a family of mosquitos in the middle of winter
and yet nobody’s ankles are nibbled
despite possessing candle sticks and waxen wicks
i don’t attempt to flick my bic
and justify it to myself muttering “smoking kills”
on the way to the gas station for the third time today
a poke to the stomach was all it took and shaken
to attention was the soldier rifle on back and cocked to fire
and tried as i might’ve i swatted the prods
and somehow reversed the direction of the brands
i don’t know what this is, but i’m just going with it
i didn’t hear what you said, but you don’t have to repeat yourself
i’ll rent it from blockbuster when it comes out on vhs
max keeble’s big move was my latest acquisition
APR 12 2016
tit4tat/nip4nap
i found dirty black underwear which caused
me to pause and wonder where my pair of
orange ones are or my favorite book, among
a batch of patchy fungus i took, sure woes were
quelled by a steady spell and heady well of
verbal mutters - tell me, what were the moldy leaves
sitting in the gutter? ‘scold me please,’ i’d tell my mother
these are plants i shouldn’t burn, but scanty are
the stances taken on lungs as ashy urns
severely aware of the army of bobs, waze says
i’m nearly there to confront the smarmy gob.
MAR 27 2016
i found dirty black underwear which caused
me to pause and wonder where my pair of
orange ones are or my favorite book, among
a batch of patchy fungus i took, sure woes were
quelled by a steady spell and heady well of
verbal mutters - tell me, what were the moldy leaves
sitting in the gutter? ‘scold me please,’ i’d tell my mother
these are plants i shouldn’t burn, but scanty are
the stances taken on lungs as ashy urns
severely aware of the army of bobs, waze says
i’m nearly there to confront the smarmy gob.
MAR 27 2016
$60 down
the rubber sits under the cover of the flubber-
lined armrest testing the arrested
development of my star sign, finding
fine times for rhythm and the rhyming
sighs of eyes tired of trying to cry in dying
piles of sweat and flying breath bringing
death to leather in the better weather of
the indoors where pores swore not to pour
any longer pennies stronger than their fonder
foes who’s toes tickle the fickle woes of those
chosen not for longevity but for cheese and
brevity
FEB 26 2016
the rubber sits under the cover of the flubber-
lined armrest testing the arrested
development of my star sign, finding
fine times for rhythm and the rhyming
sighs of eyes tired of trying to cry in dying
piles of sweat and flying breath bringing
death to leather in the better weather of
the indoors where pores swore not to pour
any longer pennies stronger than their fonder
foes who’s toes tickle the fickle woes of those
chosen not for longevity but for cheese and
brevity
FEB 26 2016
a vulva beyond her years
she vandalized the journal with
kernels of scandals i’ve since modified,
as compromises arise in the wake
of forsaken surprise realized after
laughter died and fades to nude,
a lewd charade of pride manifest,
arrested now by naval portmen’s
sordid behavior, how offensively
pensive am i presently in the reflected
projection of hesitant, unenthralled -
none at all - at the prospect of burgers
further, i expect that all but one shall
rally fun; follow, match, reject
FEB 24 2016
she vandalized the journal with
kernels of scandals i’ve since modified,
as compromises arise in the wake
of forsaken surprise realized after
laughter died and fades to nude,
a lewd charade of pride manifest,
arrested now by naval portmen’s
sordid behavior, how offensively
pensive am i presently in the reflected
projection of hesitant, unenthralled -
none at all - at the prospect of burgers
further, i expect that all but one shall
rally fun; follow, match, reject
FEB 24 2016
rent-to-own
superseding a human teddy bear
possessing far more body hair i behave
as though the caves in my cheeks reek
of string streaks rendering a green sweater
none better than the wetter whistle
whose sister thistle pricks my finger
letting linger a fineprint-free rent-to-own
down payment on my cheekbones
FEB 23 2016
superseding a human teddy bear
possessing far more body hair i behave
as though the caves in my cheeks reek
of string streaks rendering a green sweater
none better than the wetter whistle
whose sister thistle pricks my finger
letting linger a fineprint-free rent-to-own
down payment on my cheekbones
FEB 23 2016
The Hydrogen Man, Leonard Baskin
“i relapsed - i punched a wall in the shower
first wall i’ve punched since september
it hurt, i wasn’t drunk yet
this happened; my right hand disappeared
fuck, am i right?”
JAN 13 2016
“i relapsed - i punched a wall in the shower
first wall i’ve punched since september
it hurt, i wasn’t drunk yet
this happened; my right hand disappeared
fuck, am i right?”
JAN 13 2016
it happened again, i wrote this at a diner
last time this happened someone lied
by my side so i needn’t hide,
just open eyes and arise to the sad surprise,
‘it was an accident’ we’d both surmise,
wash away the moist mistake
stand soaked together half-awake,
nobody should do this at 21
save the two times we had too much fun
the night before; this time no caper,
what’s in my wallet? this folded paper
exhibits to the jury four counts as proof,
to recall our poolhall nights aloof,
evidence i smuggled from the room
last i was there before the doom,
as though somehow i must have known
in two short months i’d be so grown,
i’m occupied now by a ghost,
to memories i am a host
of feelings gone and draining still
surely by fate - perhaps free will,
the metaphorical bomb is
neither of us kept our promise.
DEC 27 2015
last time this happened someone lied
by my side so i needn’t hide,
just open eyes and arise to the sad surprise,
‘it was an accident’ we’d both surmise,
wash away the moist mistake
stand soaked together half-awake,
nobody should do this at 21
save the two times we had too much fun
the night before; this time no caper,
what’s in my wallet? this folded paper
exhibits to the jury four counts as proof,
to recall our poolhall nights aloof,
evidence i smuggled from the room
last i was there before the doom,
as though somehow i must have known
in two short months i’d be so grown,
i’m occupied now by a ghost,
to memories i am a host
of feelings gone and draining still
surely by fate - perhaps free will,
the metaphorical bomb is
neither of us kept our promise.
DEC 27 2015
it’s no “ozymandias”
samuel coleridge taylor’s failure to ascertain what pain
egged on kublai khan has always phased me in ways
i can’t stand; planless, he missed the bliss of a risk
taken to fake the mistake ending, sending bending
minds down the line to find out what the clout’s about.
i dreamt once too, but forgot my thought even as i wrought
the words i was sure would be iron-inspired; they’ve since expired,
melted as though not properly smelt. the ground found the pounds
of incurred words, deterred and negated like fallen weight of fate
i wrote of toting when i woke, a mite lighter now than that night.
i dreamt twice and though nice, the wall wasn’t at all
as near for reasons unclear at first; the worst news disbursed
itself and a wealth of heat came over me without need of sheets,
twisted between listless legs, while dregs of sweat begged
me to dry them off - though as to what cost, my budget’s lost.
DEC 18 2015
samuel coleridge taylor’s failure to ascertain what pain
egged on kublai khan has always phased me in ways
i can’t stand; planless, he missed the bliss of a risk
taken to fake the mistake ending, sending bending
minds down the line to find out what the clout’s about.
i dreamt once too, but forgot my thought even as i wrought
the words i was sure would be iron-inspired; they’ve since expired,
melted as though not properly smelt. the ground found the pounds
of incurred words, deterred and negated like fallen weight of fate
i wrote of toting when i woke, a mite lighter now than that night.
i dreamt twice and though nice, the wall wasn’t at all
as near for reasons unclear at first; the worst news disbursed
itself and a wealth of heat came over me without need of sheets,
twisted between listless legs, while dregs of sweat begged
me to dry them off - though as to what cost, my budget’s lost.
DEC 18 2015
i had a dream
i was in love
with one i’d never
loved before.
i love the love
i had for her.
NOV 26 2015
i was in love
with one i’d never
loved before.
i love the love
i had for her.
NOV 26 2015
asphalt as smooth as irish butter
gave no indication that it might soon
give way to a pothole
exactly the shape of
your face, not photo-
realism but the sketch
i made in the margins
of my teen lit notes
and as quickly as my tires gave up traction
they took it back and continued down the
freeway
NOV 17 2015
gave no indication that it might soon
give way to a pothole
exactly the shape of
your face, not photo-
realism but the sketch
i made in the margins
of my teen lit notes
and as quickly as my tires gave up traction
they took it back and continued down the
freeway
NOV 17 2015
i stood one week with a canadian maiden
hailing from my favorite city’s rival town,
where the great one made his name via an
ice-dependent game, though pinball was
was the poison she picked avoiding foosball
in favor of a “game containing heavy balls
for her to flick”, the friend she visited egging
on the omelette
either i ignored my altimeter or my
navigation wavered against my favor,
and my wings melted as the ruffled
feathers fluttered down upon a pillow
factory’s premises, in fact the very same
manufacturer as the one supporting her
lumbar region
NOV 13 2015
hailing from my favorite city’s rival town,
where the great one made his name via an
ice-dependent game, though pinball was
was the poison she picked avoiding foosball
in favor of a “game containing heavy balls
for her to flick”, the friend she visited egging
on the omelette
either i ignored my altimeter or my
navigation wavered against my favor,
and my wings melted as the ruffled
feathers fluttered down upon a pillow
factory’s premises, in fact the very same
manufacturer as the one supporting her
lumbar region
NOV 13 2015
i met a girl
she smiled at me
not that you’d care
or that i’d hoped you’d see
she didn’t have to
make time for me
because the time was
made for us already
i’m not too sure
i think you did the same
he doesn’t seem a bore
but i don’t know his game
did you hold his hand?
did you kiss his cheek?
not that i care
because i’m not that weak
NOV 8 2015
she smiled at me
not that you’d care
or that i’d hoped you’d see
she didn’t have to
make time for me
because the time was
made for us already
i’m not too sure
i think you did the same
he doesn’t seem a bore
but i don’t know his game
did you hold his hand?
did you kiss his cheek?
not that i care
because i’m not that weak
NOV 8 2015
how do i tell facebook yours isn’t
the first name i want to see on the list
of “friends” available to talk to?
NOV 8 2015
the first name i want to see on the list
of “friends” available to talk to?
NOV 8 2015
I.
stumbling down a deserted “city” street,
i’d step into the muddy gutter so that
you wouldn’t have to, and as a silent
thank you, you’d grab my hand without a
second thought, not minding being
tugged along as i’d trudge on a few
feet ahead of you and i wouldn’t mind pulling
you along as you checked your instagram
for likes from people who didn’t matter
i’d put my arm around your shoulders
just in time to save you from stepping
into a pothole, even though i know it’s no
challenge your boots couldn’t handle
i always wished i could provide the arch
support which doc marten never failed to.
II.
arriving at your door, you’d take off your purse
fishing for your keys while i hooked my arms
around you like the catch you were, never to
throw you back until we no longer needed
sea legs, and standing solidly in the kitchen
resisting the urge to take a photograph
of myself beaming, showing off my take.
III.
pizza rolls would beckon you with such might
that you couldn’t resist, you slung open
the freezer with abandon so reckless as to
accept for me the bruise i’d acquire on my
right temple and i hesitated not to dirty a plate
and nuke them for us in the microwave whose
rays could never have rivaled those which
were reflected from your round-toothed smile.
IV.
what i always loved most was that you’d often
fall asleep before even a single bite, not
because i got a plate of lactose and carbs to
myself, but because you’d already made peace
with the fate of your unconsciousness long ago
and didn’t mind my tackling the treats for both
our sakes with or without digestive aid
i could see that as your apathy towards my
dietary restrictions, but i prefer to think you
had faith enough in my metabolic abilities
and had care enough to provide my daily dose,
one which i would typically go without.
V.
i’ve had checkers for late night dinners
the last three nights the way we used to,
asking them to hold the cheese
because i’m the only one now who knows
how much it hurts to eat.
NOV 7 2015
stumbling down a deserted “city” street,
i’d step into the muddy gutter so that
you wouldn’t have to, and as a silent
thank you, you’d grab my hand without a
second thought, not minding being
tugged along as i’d trudge on a few
feet ahead of you and i wouldn’t mind pulling
you along as you checked your instagram
for likes from people who didn’t matter
i’d put my arm around your shoulders
just in time to save you from stepping
into a pothole, even though i know it’s no
challenge your boots couldn’t handle
i always wished i could provide the arch
support which doc marten never failed to.
II.
arriving at your door, you’d take off your purse
fishing for your keys while i hooked my arms
around you like the catch you were, never to
throw you back until we no longer needed
sea legs, and standing solidly in the kitchen
resisting the urge to take a photograph
of myself beaming, showing off my take.
III.
pizza rolls would beckon you with such might
that you couldn’t resist, you slung open
the freezer with abandon so reckless as to
accept for me the bruise i’d acquire on my
right temple and i hesitated not to dirty a plate
and nuke them for us in the microwave whose
rays could never have rivaled those which
were reflected from your round-toothed smile.
IV.
what i always loved most was that you’d often
fall asleep before even a single bite, not
because i got a plate of lactose and carbs to
myself, but because you’d already made peace
with the fate of your unconsciousness long ago
and didn’t mind my tackling the treats for both
our sakes with or without digestive aid
i could see that as your apathy towards my
dietary restrictions, but i prefer to think you
had faith enough in my metabolic abilities
and had care enough to provide my daily dose,
one which i would typically go without.
V.
i’ve had checkers for late night dinners
the last three nights the way we used to,
asking them to hold the cheese
because i’m the only one now who knows
how much it hurts to eat.
NOV 7 2015
i never have to worry that my arm might fall asleep,
and if it does my mind and body will be just as deep
NOV 5 2015
and if it does my mind and body will be just as deep
NOV 5 2015
your birkenstocks are on my floor
your romper’s crumpled on my chair
i miss the times when you would ask
“what do you think that i should wear?”
a 40 still sits in my fridge
with your name written thereupon
moldy apple cider donuts in my trash,
once meant for us to feast upon
my coffeemaker seems so useless
compared to your roommate’s french press
each morning i would brew a cup
hoping that you might wake up fresh
a vomit stain is on the couch
from when i puked after a party
you scratched my back and stroked my hair
and didn’t mind i was also farting
a kink is in my lower back
waiting for you to knead it out
lying prostrate on my empty bed,
i wonder what the wait’s about
my schoolwork is suffering
but not at all from lack of thinking
my mind’s hands are worn and raw
exhausted by all the binge drinking
my mornings now are uneventful
i sit in silence on the top step
sipping my bitter coffee black
scorching my throat with cigarettes
a family of freckles still
adorn your back and shoulders
that they might not see me again
postpones my growing older
none of these byproducts are
the ones for which we’d dreamed
i still maintain that they’re the signs
we were better than we seemed
i don’t know where your clothes might be
or what you’ll consume a year from now
those things for me are also vague
but we’ll be happy finding out
because we’ll both know how
NOV 4 2015
your romper’s crumpled on my chair
i miss the times when you would ask
“what do you think that i should wear?”
a 40 still sits in my fridge
with your name written thereupon
moldy apple cider donuts in my trash,
once meant for us to feast upon
my coffeemaker seems so useless
compared to your roommate’s french press
each morning i would brew a cup
hoping that you might wake up fresh
a vomit stain is on the couch
from when i puked after a party
you scratched my back and stroked my hair
and didn’t mind i was also farting
a kink is in my lower back
waiting for you to knead it out
lying prostrate on my empty bed,
i wonder what the wait’s about
my schoolwork is suffering
but not at all from lack of thinking
my mind’s hands are worn and raw
exhausted by all the binge drinking
my mornings now are uneventful
i sit in silence on the top step
sipping my bitter coffee black
scorching my throat with cigarettes
a family of freckles still
adorn your back and shoulders
that they might not see me again
postpones my growing older
none of these byproducts are
the ones for which we’d dreamed
i still maintain that they’re the signs
we were better than we seemed
i don’t know where your clothes might be
or what you’ll consume a year from now
those things for me are also vague
but we’ll be happy finding out
because we’ll both know how
NOV 4 2015
irish goodbye
my tears were a bigger driving hazard than my inebriation
NOV 1 2015
my tears were a bigger driving hazard than my inebriation
NOV 1 2015
beer burns
stomachs churn
hearts yearn
souls learn
SEPT 7 2015
stomachs churn
hearts yearn
souls learn
SEPT 7 2015
terms and condition
verbal superstitions
overheard premonitions
words of well-wishes
AUG 25 2015
verbal superstitions
overheard premonitions
words of well-wishes
AUG 25 2015
went
friends
contend
bending,
pretending
offending
sendings
end.
AUG 17 2015
friends
contend
bending,
pretending
offending
sendings
end.
AUG 17 2015
i wish i still knew
what every word you
saw my pen squirt
to paper
was about because
without context i’m
just as vexed
as are most not
prone to host
a caper
of hyperabstract lines;
i’m fine if the meaning
has tapered
to you
AUG 17 2015
what every word you
saw my pen squirt
to paper
was about because
without context i’m
just as vexed
as are most not
prone to host
a caper
of hyperabstract lines;
i’m fine if the meaning
has tapered
to you
AUG 17 2015
why i shouldn't keep coming home (pt. 2)
this time last year, the tears i shed
weren’t out of fear for lonely beds,
but clear as day, the source of dread;
mulling over all the years
and all the dears for whom
i bled.
this time i’ve found, it’s not the same.
passions abound, longing to blame.
but why propound a losing game?
except that this time around
my ears: surrounded by
a name.
AUG 16 2015
this time last year, the tears i shed
weren’t out of fear for lonely beds,
but clear as day, the source of dread;
mulling over all the years
and all the dears for whom
i bled.
this time i’ve found, it’s not the same.
passions abound, longing to blame.
but why propound a losing game?
except that this time around
my ears: surrounded by
a name.
AUG 16 2015
i’m beginning to sweat but i’m not yet wet
hiding on the inside of unshucked oysters
damp, i vamp up attempts avoid the moisture
up a ramp i’m met by a tall top and falls - drops,
not the shell, well the pearl i am turns to jam as it
whirls to the bottom and settles in sand
DEC 29 2014
hiding on the inside of unshucked oysters
damp, i vamp up attempts avoid the moisture
up a ramp i’m met by a tall top and falls - drops,
not the shell, well the pearl i am turns to jam as it
whirls to the bottom and settles in sand
DEC 29 2014
twice i ground the ice of a polar molar
staving off coughs of perplexing vortexes
unabashed lip lash invokes pokes
as fear leers melting the table’s felt
chips all in the win bin wind blown
sins known bone thrown gnawed raw
DEC 18 2014
staving off coughs of perplexing vortexes
unabashed lip lash invokes pokes
as fear leers melting the table’s felt
chips all in the win bin wind blown
sins known bone thrown gnawed raw
DEC 18 2014
i drew a picture of a fruit bowl in 2nd grade
when i was in 3rd grade i tried to do it again
and it came out as a cup of grape juice
because i wasn’t hungry anymore
DEC 14 2014
when i was in 3rd grade i tried to do it again
and it came out as a cup of grape juice
because i wasn’t hungry anymore
DEC 14 2014
await the break of the aching levy
and heavy heaves of palm leaves drift
and sprays the mist above quick fish below
their foes whose slow poking toes removed
of shoes they lose in putrid ruses where
no one cares for hair they bare under waves
of liquid paved by slaves who brave thunderous
wonders wandering pondward to places placid
faces flaccid at racing rats who drown in pools
of bubbly drool from dozens of dozing triplets
skipping stones satisfied with quibbling over their
ripples
DEC 9 2014
and heavy heaves of palm leaves drift
and sprays the mist above quick fish below
their foes whose slow poking toes removed
of shoes they lose in putrid ruses where
no one cares for hair they bare under waves
of liquid paved by slaves who brave thunderous
wonders wandering pondward to places placid
faces flaccid at racing rats who drown in pools
of bubbly drool from dozens of dozing triplets
skipping stones satisfied with quibbling over their
ripples
DEC 9 2014
rainy birkx
standing in my rainy birkx
the timber on my navy shirt
450 seconds incense blessing
approached on porches by the question
gimme 100 millimeters, it’s my built-in thoughter
heater - neater is the water on the wrong side of the blotter.
this shit’s got me sick of the road
the snot is dripping from my nose
and sitting on my lip above a cup like me – solo, so low –
the gauze inside is bloody,
so’s the pool of drool the fool is ruddy,
suddenly i realized how the soles, they got so muddy -
rappel did the gazelle,
climbing from the arid well,
bumping dumbly from the wall like a ball cuz it’s the only way to quell
all the scheming demons
employed to take away all meaning
noisy boys who coyly toy, exist to make you mrs. free-me
bruises go from blue to black
when you bang your head on a hatrack
that’s what happens when you get taller
snag the collar, never holler
these backwards jeans i got on
the front dampening my mom’s thighs –
not her eyes –
now her pinky’s in my palm.
i like to let the canoe linger
on the backside of her finger
unfortunately
the fortune of three
was all that’s in the cards for singers
the eskimos have moved to the land of coconuts and thunder
i ain’t never seen a dingo, but tonight i’m gone down under
NOV 20 2014
standing in my rainy birkx
the timber on my navy shirt
450 seconds incense blessing
approached on porches by the question
gimme 100 millimeters, it’s my built-in thoughter
heater - neater is the water on the wrong side of the blotter.
this shit’s got me sick of the road
the snot is dripping from my nose
and sitting on my lip above a cup like me – solo, so low –
the gauze inside is bloody,
so’s the pool of drool the fool is ruddy,
suddenly i realized how the soles, they got so muddy -
rappel did the gazelle,
climbing from the arid well,
bumping dumbly from the wall like a ball cuz it’s the only way to quell
all the scheming demons
employed to take away all meaning
noisy boys who coyly toy, exist to make you mrs. free-me
bruises go from blue to black
when you bang your head on a hatrack
that’s what happens when you get taller
snag the collar, never holler
these backwards jeans i got on
the front dampening my mom’s thighs –
not her eyes –
now her pinky’s in my palm.
i like to let the canoe linger
on the backside of her finger
unfortunately
the fortune of three
was all that’s in the cards for singers
the eskimos have moved to the land of coconuts and thunder
i ain’t never seen a dingo, but tonight i’m gone down under
NOV 20 2014
shards tend to immense aortas
sorted tricks bags come unstitched
enriched by subtly-graded puddles
nuzzled up sweetly on petite granules
manually converting the subversive to
moot mumbles outnumbered by lost
foster children making pilgrimage trips
slipped and skidded rid of kid’s quibbles
NOV 17 2014
sorted tricks bags come unstitched
enriched by subtly-graded puddles
nuzzled up sweetly on petite granules
manually converting the subversive to
moot mumbles outnumbered by lost
foster children making pilgrimage trips
slipped and skidded rid of kid’s quibbles
NOV 17 2014
SBC
I. Perception is the weapon
with which we take the
next step and pray
it's not a hex set on
by someone with skills
to bless us or kill whether
by quill or sword an
angry horde of beings
fleeing from hearts
outpoured in a pool
of blood or drool or
mud a ruddy fool becomes
a tool to instruct school
kids and trucks run
amok to pick them up
in circle drives they
take the dive and
come back home the
one they claim to know
and row their boats
far down the stream
letting consciousness
gleam in a beam of light
that makes a fright and
at night it truly ignites
like a key in a lock to
a vehicle stopped push
to start
II. Come back begin
don't let it spin you win
you over cliffs of dover
falling in a squalid
bin of fins from things
the doorman brings of
sacred things and patron
kings above a sea of
shit from anus spit the
written form imprisoned
dorms of essence asking
questions we acquiesce
and let the mess tide
and pull into the mull
remove the wool over
eyes of ice like lice
enticed by white rice
mobbed they scorn
cob and rob of bobbing
heads not dead but
dread the fed bed
of beasts rise as
yeast pleased as they
are
III. Linked as minks
on melted rinks of
pink stink on bold
shoulders which smolder
boulders bent and spent
is he who sent for
moody rudes and due
is dude welcomes anew
the mourning dew for
whom bells chime is
time a building block
of rock in stock on
tattered smocks a splattered
flock of feathers whether
fat or not a knot
of heather vapors save
the maker in a way
the slaves are gracious
for as clouds downpour
and proud is he who on
his knee sits a major
giving speeches and the
beach beneath to
him bequeaths a wreath
of holly berries bollywood
you like if I might spike
the knife and ruin druid
lives?
IV. Progress the rest
of us and let the quest
be just if it’s best he
must rust as medals
do and grand new
petals grew as wetlands
brew green and blue
stew and flew the few
of us into a brew of
taboo feelings spiced
darjeelings sends us
reeling beneath rails
and unveiled a snail
upon a shield and
healed he did a wielded
kid a rid the whittled
wood but should?
V. A
wild child of mild doubt
begins to file out after
a bout of waivering clout
led her to sprout a
snout about havering
Canadian roots and loots
the ground of all rumbling
sound around raining pounds
as plain cedes the reigns
to painless breezes leaving
him on his knees and trees
the pleas of the wise and
weak sneaking from storm
drain doors leading to
pouring snores of cloudy
levels leaving them to
revel near devilish grins
but fear skips pebbles
over Arabian
ponds not fond of he who
stands beyond the reach of
breaching peninsulas to
continue the pendulum’s
pattern scattered about
the axis revolved when a ball
involved in competition releases
inhibition to express
admonition of the positioned
wings which sprint through
zephyrs rather them refer
them to blurred streams
on her team’s beam where
balance exists not a
fallen arbor rots housing
mouses louses and greenery
alike as hallowed frowns
resound the visage bright
warding off scoffed croons
prophesying doom in the
gloomy quarters of orderly
daughters that bought from
her rugs to snuggly nestle
nostrils to tonsils as though
a decade save two blue
makes not snot which
drips and
gradually
happiness slips from cliffs
rather than lift they
lackadaisically drift
alongside turbulent Furbies
oblivious to the anxiety
living in the impropriety
plaguing the raking farmer
indifferent to the harm at the
liminal fence not as the
defense but as bent spent
reapings during neap tide
weepings a hatched egg
evokes and yolk seeps
provoked as it is quizzically
taking note of the breaths
stolen an aviary mole
poking holes at the rollers
preserving curved aesthetics
for medics to glance over
before rolling up ramps
only to succumb to damp
plans unscanned by
retinas unactualized to the
surprise of blind finding
rinds from bored citrus
missed peeled to feel
acidic burns on the
Hassidic words occurred
by the whirled pearls in
mouths unpried tried not
true in sands bands
new to the aural palate
not coral mallets well
versed not rehearsed for
worst hearts before a
glowing warmth horns
honk says Dad
NOV 17 2014
I. Perception is the weapon
with which we take the
next step and pray
it's not a hex set on
by someone with skills
to bless us or kill whether
by quill or sword an
angry horde of beings
fleeing from hearts
outpoured in a pool
of blood or drool or
mud a ruddy fool becomes
a tool to instruct school
kids and trucks run
amok to pick them up
in circle drives they
take the dive and
come back home the
one they claim to know
and row their boats
far down the stream
letting consciousness
gleam in a beam of light
that makes a fright and
at night it truly ignites
like a key in a lock to
a vehicle stopped push
to start
II. Come back begin
don't let it spin you win
you over cliffs of dover
falling in a squalid
bin of fins from things
the doorman brings of
sacred things and patron
kings above a sea of
shit from anus spit the
written form imprisoned
dorms of essence asking
questions we acquiesce
and let the mess tide
and pull into the mull
remove the wool over
eyes of ice like lice
enticed by white rice
mobbed they scorn
cob and rob of bobbing
heads not dead but
dread the fed bed
of beasts rise as
yeast pleased as they
are
III. Linked as minks
on melted rinks of
pink stink on bold
shoulders which smolder
boulders bent and spent
is he who sent for
moody rudes and due
is dude welcomes anew
the mourning dew for
whom bells chime is
time a building block
of rock in stock on
tattered smocks a splattered
flock of feathers whether
fat or not a knot
of heather vapors save
the maker in a way
the slaves are gracious
for as clouds downpour
and proud is he who on
his knee sits a major
giving speeches and the
beach beneath to
him bequeaths a wreath
of holly berries bollywood
you like if I might spike
the knife and ruin druid
lives?
IV. Progress the rest
of us and let the quest
be just if it’s best he
must rust as medals
do and grand new
petals grew as wetlands
brew green and blue
stew and flew the few
of us into a brew of
taboo feelings spiced
darjeelings sends us
reeling beneath rails
and unveiled a snail
upon a shield and
healed he did a wielded
kid a rid the whittled
wood but should?
V. A
wild child of mild doubt
begins to file out after
a bout of waivering clout
led her to sprout a
snout about havering
Canadian roots and loots
the ground of all rumbling
sound around raining pounds
as plain cedes the reigns
to painless breezes leaving
him on his knees and trees
the pleas of the wise and
weak sneaking from storm
drain doors leading to
pouring snores of cloudy
levels leaving them to
revel near devilish grins
but fear skips pebbles
over Arabian
ponds not fond of he who
stands beyond the reach of
breaching peninsulas to
continue the pendulum’s
pattern scattered about
the axis revolved when a ball
involved in competition releases
inhibition to express
admonition of the positioned
wings which sprint through
zephyrs rather them refer
them to blurred streams
on her team’s beam where
balance exists not a
fallen arbor rots housing
mouses louses and greenery
alike as hallowed frowns
resound the visage bright
warding off scoffed croons
prophesying doom in the
gloomy quarters of orderly
daughters that bought from
her rugs to snuggly nestle
nostrils to tonsils as though
a decade save two blue
makes not snot which
drips and
gradually
happiness slips from cliffs
rather than lift they
lackadaisically drift
alongside turbulent Furbies
oblivious to the anxiety
living in the impropriety
plaguing the raking farmer
indifferent to the harm at the
liminal fence not as the
defense but as bent spent
reapings during neap tide
weepings a hatched egg
evokes and yolk seeps
provoked as it is quizzically
taking note of the breaths
stolen an aviary mole
poking holes at the rollers
preserving curved aesthetics
for medics to glance over
before rolling up ramps
only to succumb to damp
plans unscanned by
retinas unactualized to the
surprise of blind finding
rinds from bored citrus
missed peeled to feel
acidic burns on the
Hassidic words occurred
by the whirled pearls in
mouths unpried tried not
true in sands bands
new to the aural palate
not coral mallets well
versed not rehearsed for
worst hearts before a
glowing warmth horns
honk says Dad
NOV 17 2014
magnum opus oprah's most boasted roasted hostess
how long until those petty gambits of meat which have hanged and dangled for o so long fall upon the slick glass floor strikes the icy surface heated from below by a furnace which churns a muddy bunch of platelets of blood fueling hatred and love make their ways through the veins and flow out of the mouth or an orifice of the south through which travel every speck of nature’s babble grinds my gears forcing me beyond my years to deal with the squeal of wheels on gravel as the synonyms reclaim the clout like a cinnamon bout of battles between bottled bequeathed with boiling oil unrefined remains below the line which was designed with the border of body and mind has stagnated to its assigned void and annoyed is the boy in the shirt from detroit finds his posterior covered in the paste of primates and equates this to the inferior interior of an abode in story mode he hasn’t rowed the boat michael drowned in the moat and brought with him jack jill and john whose surname too long that it doesn’t belong in this wrong position among the transitions which retire from commission the ignition switches of the snitches as feet remain grounded feet surrounding the stick to which a bundle of straws functions to broom up and sweep the doomed dumps unsweet that we feel no guilt placing them below our shoes though so inconsiderate to refrain from removing the glued goo whether gum sweets or otherwise it’s no surprise that glazed eyes blaze by unphased trying to replace my habitation and reform the old foundation voyage to distant nations traversing the worse nursing practice recollected since the mattress after the laughter became unnatural and factual acts are actually impractical in baffling gaggles of passerby asking why am i not coming across like i did before trying to boss other tongues galore even poorer than yours truly noted duly is my foolishly ghoulish demeanor a wiener am i and cleaner so why not sbtrkt the last past track of action and master bastardized classed i’ve aimed to conquer as a bonkers yonkers descendant like mended wickets a ticket to ride with your picket signs on sidewalks before boxed residents mentioned it’s lost it’s worth and demands we disperse removing the first purse of battling cattle and bulls pulling wool over eyes fully surprised am i that in a fifth of a decade with my neck craned over to keep wet rain from my lap as i nap and snap milk up like a cat as it runs through cracks in the waxed floor and walls off the step to my level neville appeasing the queasy pleasing peasants feeding pheasants when necessary a legendary wariness nary paralleled but never fell the swell knell of bells ringing and smelly singing wings as they bring
SEPT 26 2014
how long until those petty gambits of meat which have hanged and dangled for o so long fall upon the slick glass floor strikes the icy surface heated from below by a furnace which churns a muddy bunch of platelets of blood fueling hatred and love make their ways through the veins and flow out of the mouth or an orifice of the south through which travel every speck of nature’s babble grinds my gears forcing me beyond my years to deal with the squeal of wheels on gravel as the synonyms reclaim the clout like a cinnamon bout of battles between bottled bequeathed with boiling oil unrefined remains below the line which was designed with the border of body and mind has stagnated to its assigned void and annoyed is the boy in the shirt from detroit finds his posterior covered in the paste of primates and equates this to the inferior interior of an abode in story mode he hasn’t rowed the boat michael drowned in the moat and brought with him jack jill and john whose surname too long that it doesn’t belong in this wrong position among the transitions which retire from commission the ignition switches of the snitches as feet remain grounded feet surrounding the stick to which a bundle of straws functions to broom up and sweep the doomed dumps unsweet that we feel no guilt placing them below our shoes though so inconsiderate to refrain from removing the glued goo whether gum sweets or otherwise it’s no surprise that glazed eyes blaze by unphased trying to replace my habitation and reform the old foundation voyage to distant nations traversing the worse nursing practice recollected since the mattress after the laughter became unnatural and factual acts are actually impractical in baffling gaggles of passerby asking why am i not coming across like i did before trying to boss other tongues galore even poorer than yours truly noted duly is my foolishly ghoulish demeanor a wiener am i and cleaner so why not sbtrkt the last past track of action and master bastardized classed i’ve aimed to conquer as a bonkers yonkers descendant like mended wickets a ticket to ride with your picket signs on sidewalks before boxed residents mentioned it’s lost it’s worth and demands we disperse removing the first purse of battling cattle and bulls pulling wool over eyes fully surprised am i that in a fifth of a decade with my neck craned over to keep wet rain from my lap as i nap and snap milk up like a cat as it runs through cracks in the waxed floor and walls off the step to my level neville appeasing the queasy pleasing peasants feeding pheasants when necessary a legendary wariness nary paralleled but never fell the swell knell of bells ringing and smelly singing wings as they bring
SEPT 26 2014
she tried to grab my hand today
i used only my words to parry it away
her fingers ran down my right arm
i don’t think she meant me harm
she tried to pull me down the road
of course her friend continued to goad
her voice flew from her mouth to my ear
wanting no more than for me to be near
she stumbled off without turning back
i went inside and made myself a snack
AUG 30 2014
i used only my words to parry it away
her fingers ran down my right arm
i don’t think she meant me harm
she tried to pull me down the road
of course her friend continued to goad
her voice flew from her mouth to my ear
wanting no more than for me to be near
she stumbled off without turning back
i went inside and made myself a snack
AUG 30 2014
a gazelle
was compelled to take the scenic route
she liked
to hike beneath the birds as they flew north to south
at each river
refuge delivered as cool water pooled in her mouth
her eyes to
the sky she’d maintain the birds’ whereabouts
she’d spit
at them as they’d flit away from her makeshift waterspout
a bit of fun
before her run she’d need to stave away a pout
she’d tire
as the fire in her heart discouraged her as would a lout
slightly singed
a silent whinge as her willpower took a clout
higher they’d go
into the sky’s glow as the gazelle turned about face
back to the north
she’d go of course with as much if not more grace
AUG 27 2014
was compelled to take the scenic route
she liked
to hike beneath the birds as they flew north to south
at each river
refuge delivered as cool water pooled in her mouth
her eyes to
the sky she’d maintain the birds’ whereabouts
she’d spit
at them as they’d flit away from her makeshift waterspout
a bit of fun
before her run she’d need to stave away a pout
she’d tire
as the fire in her heart discouraged her as would a lout
slightly singed
a silent whinge as her willpower took a clout
higher they’d go
into the sky’s glow as the gazelle turned about face
back to the north
she’d go of course with as much if not more grace
AUG 27 2014
my left eardrum seems to have a pulse of its own
i stare absentmindedly at commercials for milk bones
the fan lazily whirs and my television is on mute
i dazedly collapse beneath the covers partially nude
as my weight collects first in the mattress middle
i then found myself facing an unforeseen riddle
propping myself up on an elbow, i examine the void
i’ve created and can’t help but feel slightly annoyed
my bed gets a boxspring, the pillows and sheets
for constant company through wrinkle-fold-repeats
why it should ever complain of an empty space
as though it’s center is a briefcase for faces
AUG 24 2014
i stare absentmindedly at commercials for milk bones
the fan lazily whirs and my television is on mute
i dazedly collapse beneath the covers partially nude
as my weight collects first in the mattress middle
i then found myself facing an unforeseen riddle
propping myself up on an elbow, i examine the void
i’ve created and can’t help but feel slightly annoyed
my bed gets a boxspring, the pillows and sheets
for constant company through wrinkle-fold-repeats
why it should ever complain of an empty space
as though it’s center is a briefcase for faces
AUG 24 2014
a sun that never rose
lying in the road staring at the horizon
observing the line where land and sky meet
teasing myself at the faintest beam gone astray
averting my gaze periodically subsiding excitement
allowing closed eye visuals to dance along my lids
the sky balances on the lip of darkness, all too
conscious that a forward misstep could mean
illumination, yet overall blindness plagues
my sight, i find myself falling back into
night, desperate for traces of pink
blue orange or even grey light
AUG 24 2014
lying in the road staring at the horizon
observing the line where land and sky meet
teasing myself at the faintest beam gone astray
averting my gaze periodically subsiding excitement
allowing closed eye visuals to dance along my lids
the sky balances on the lip of darkness, all too
conscious that a forward misstep could mean
illumination, yet overall blindness plagues
my sight, i find myself falling back into
night, desperate for traces of pink
blue orange or even grey light
AUG 24 2014
dobson
at dawn the lawn is greener after an august storm
i blur the blades below my nose so i can see their true form
and the rain, it has a way of washing away the pain
so soon the move from pink to blue around your energy plane
i took a walk and stopped atop the knoll, then down it i rolled
the drops got caught in all my pockets, but i didn’t feel cold
and at the base i ceased to face the fronds of a palm above,
so now my liver quivers, i drunkenly shiver at love
i keep a wealth of it to myself, yet i leave open the gates
to seize the prey, and today i pray maybe you’ll take the bait,
oceans remain emotionless when void of a tide
without a swell it’s hard to tell what hell wells up inside
however cryptic, i hope mystic power flowered in you
so i don’t have to look for hooks, i’m all shook up at the view
AUG 12 2014
at dawn the lawn is greener after an august storm
i blur the blades below my nose so i can see their true form
and the rain, it has a way of washing away the pain
so soon the move from pink to blue around your energy plane
i took a walk and stopped atop the knoll, then down it i rolled
the drops got caught in all my pockets, but i didn’t feel cold
and at the base i ceased to face the fronds of a palm above,
so now my liver quivers, i drunkenly shiver at love
i keep a wealth of it to myself, yet i leave open the gates
to seize the prey, and today i pray maybe you’ll take the bait,
oceans remain emotionless when void of a tide
without a swell it’s hard to tell what hell wells up inside
however cryptic, i hope mystic power flowered in you
so i don’t have to look for hooks, i’m all shook up at the view
AUG 12 2014
spent summers
situated between two rows of molehills
a humble town lies
from atop a peak, traversing the valley
using only eyes
invitation spread across the breadth
of her domain
magnetic was the attraction which pulled
even in the rain
youth mindful of elders, tending to the most
mundane of needs
old folk generous with their counsel, certain
it will be heeded
in the center of the marketplace is a shop
where shoes are made
next door a poor toymaker delights even
when he is unpaid
father hastily takes the reigns to travel
thirteen hours away
ever so scenic is the journey, all the while
the siblings play
their vernacular has a circular tendency
to end at the start
earth’s canvas stained for evermore with
man’s finest work of art
AUG 8 2014
a humble town lies
from atop a peak, traversing the valley
using only eyes
invitation spread across the breadth
of her domain
magnetic was the attraction which pulled
even in the rain
youth mindful of elders, tending to the most
mundane of needs
old folk generous with their counsel, certain
it will be heeded
in the center of the marketplace is a shop
where shoes are made
next door a poor toymaker delights even
when he is unpaid
father hastily takes the reigns to travel
thirteen hours away
ever so scenic is the journey, all the while
the siblings play
their vernacular has a circular tendency
to end at the start
earth’s canvas stained for evermore with
man’s finest work of art
AUG 8 2014
mother nature built a snowman
so that i might have a friend
its eyes made out of coal,
they stared at me aglow
it beckoned me outside,
but i spent the days indoors
and made a thorough list
of all the games we’d play
if i ever overcame my fear
of frostbitten fingers and
and mittens full of splinters
i should have foreseen the end
of winter; as it passed,
my friend became a puddle
and my list a sheet of ifs
and though the melting spring
brought on my friend’s demise,
the burning coal irises remain
frozen in my mind
AUG 8 2014
so that i might have a friend
its eyes made out of coal,
they stared at me aglow
it beckoned me outside,
but i spent the days indoors
and made a thorough list
of all the games we’d play
if i ever overcame my fear
of frostbitten fingers and
and mittens full of splinters
i should have foreseen the end
of winter; as it passed,
my friend became a puddle
and my list a sheet of ifs
and though the melting spring
brought on my friend’s demise,
the burning coal irises remain
frozen in my mind
AUG 8 2014
i’ve just chucked out my dictionary
because the definitions all lost their meanings
ambiguous existence isn’t all that scary
the book’s spine held my preconceived leanings
because the definitions all lost their meanings
ambiguous existence isn’t all that scary
the book’s spine held my preconceived leanings
AUG 6 2014
all in brawl
i gave myself a black eye
when i beat myself up
but i don’t need any ice,
i’ve got a red solo cup
so i’ll dive right in and
settle down at the bottom
my demons aren’t here
because i already fought em
they’re sitting on a pier
overlooking the gloomy bay
holding up cue cards
to give me something to say
merely plotting destruction,
they succeed in corruption,
providing at every chance
convenient interruption –
AUG 4 2014
i gave myself a black eye
when i beat myself up
but i don’t need any ice,
i’ve got a red solo cup
so i’ll dive right in and
settle down at the bottom
my demons aren’t here
because i already fought em
they’re sitting on a pier
overlooking the gloomy bay
holding up cue cards
to give me something to say
merely plotting destruction,
they succeed in corruption,
providing at every chance
convenient interruption –
AUG 4 2014
abraham's indifference
lincoln cared not in the slightest
as to whether the slaves were freed
he wanted the nation to stay united
and so he did whatever was needed
i feel his copper apathy masquerading
as luck in the depths of my pocket
i can’t help but to keep procrastinating
his emancipation, even though i know he’ll mock it
JUL 30 2014
lincoln cared not in the slightest
as to whether the slaves were freed
he wanted the nation to stay united
and so he did whatever was needed
i feel his copper apathy masquerading
as luck in the depths of my pocket
i can’t help but to keep procrastinating
his emancipation, even though i know he’ll mock it
JUL 30 2014
rattle battle
i sat and twiddled my thumbs
i rattled my toes in my shoes
anticipated the excitement of
waking up saturday at noon
pledging loyalty to royalty,
i approach her highness
but fear takes hold; now i’m blank
we share a pleasant silence
she slowly slips into a soft snooze
my mind escapes; i already see
my feet cross the threshold, out the door
she stands on the porch as i flee
it’s not what i want, it’s what i must do
i’m want of lust, i want to trust you
JUL 29 2014
i sat and twiddled my thumbs
i rattled my toes in my shoes
anticipated the excitement of
waking up saturday at noon
pledging loyalty to royalty,
i approach her highness
but fear takes hold; now i’m blank
we share a pleasant silence
she slowly slips into a soft snooze
my mind escapes; i already see
my feet cross the threshold, out the door
she stands on the porch as i flee
it’s not what i want, it’s what i must do
i’m want of lust, i want to trust you
JUL 29 2014
movin' out
a bag full of hangers sits on my floor; it hurts
that the shirts aren’t on them anymore
my door is open and i’m sitting on the couch
and my slouch is worse than ever before
there’s always noise which flutters around,
the sounds i know for sure that i’ve heard
whisper words possessing strange power
lasting hours and making me feel absurd
JUL 29 2014
a bag full of hangers sits on my floor; it hurts
that the shirts aren’t on them anymore
my door is open and i’m sitting on the couch
and my slouch is worse than ever before
there’s always noise which flutters around,
the sounds i know for sure that i’ve heard
whisper words possessing strange power
lasting hours and making me feel absurd
JUL 29 2014
peripheries dark, i scowl at a shape
why it draws my gaze, i can’t figure out
a heat on my back, my mouth falls agape
the chief of the cave, it holds all the clout
til i jostle my head, its motions mocks
rattling my chains, i stretch and twist my neck
a stone at my feet, i bludgeon the locks
the fire i face, it spits sparks ad specks
stumbling from the cave, i step into the sun
in the mouth i stand, before the chariot’s gone
shackled once again, as first i had begun
shrouded is the room, antithesis of dawn
ambitionless now, contently i stare
image appears, the wall itself is bare
JUL 28 2014
why it draws my gaze, i can’t figure out
a heat on my back, my mouth falls agape
the chief of the cave, it holds all the clout
til i jostle my head, its motions mocks
rattling my chains, i stretch and twist my neck
a stone at my feet, i bludgeon the locks
the fire i face, it spits sparks ad specks
stumbling from the cave, i step into the sun
in the mouth i stand, before the chariot’s gone
shackled once again, as first i had begun
shrouded is the room, antithesis of dawn
ambitionless now, contently i stare
image appears, the wall itself is bare
JUL 28 2014
a greeting without a hallmark
(but just as genuine)
sits unopened on nightstand
for eight hours until
two eyes blue as marbles whirl
over the words on the
page as a girl who heard when
she was my age
sentiment then absent, a victim
to force of habit of
course; and basketball, you never
played, yet today all
your trouble has gone away; you’ve
got yourself a double double
JUL 23 2014
(but just as genuine)
sits unopened on nightstand
for eight hours until
two eyes blue as marbles whirl
over the words on the
page as a girl who heard when
she was my age
sentiment then absent, a victim
to force of habit of
course; and basketball, you never
played, yet today all
your trouble has gone away; you’ve
got yourself a double double
JUL 23 2014
2.9 late
victoria’s secret love spell floods my nose
a callused finger strokes my upper lip
behind your own a crooked cuspid shows
a hairless arm – it wraps around my hip
your polka-dotted dress is drenched with rain
and earthworms start to crawl upon my feet
though you are silent, your eyes wail with pain
embracing, we stand shadowed on the street
reluctantly releasing each other
you turn away and get into your car
in retrospect, you meant not to smother
this time tomorrow, you’ll be way too far
if space and time are surely true lovers
why do I still smell you on the covers?
JUL 23 2014
a callused finger strokes my upper lip
behind your own a crooked cuspid shows
a hairless arm – it wraps around my hip
your polka-dotted dress is drenched with rain
and earthworms start to crawl upon my feet
though you are silent, your eyes wail with pain
embracing, we stand shadowed on the street
reluctantly releasing each other
you turn away and get into your car
in retrospect, you meant not to smother
this time tomorrow, you’ll be way too far
if space and time are surely true lovers
why do I still smell you on the covers?
JUL 23 2014
barely visible,
crooked teeth glisten
behind plump pink lips
crooked teeth glisten
behind plump pink lips
a pair of perriwinkle eyes
gaze dazily between
eye lids slightly ajar,
gaze dazily between
eye lids slightly ajar,
a loose lock of
hair strays away
to the right of
the face
JUL 22 2014
JUL 22 2014
i’ve mastered the art of weightlessness;
the way it feels can only be compared to
the split-second between sound sleep
and shaking awake, inches before your
back makes contact with the rocky bed
below, and yet it also holds all the relief
of the conscious instant following as
your back touches the plush mattress
i haven’t yet warded off gravity - its
hold on me (the one inside the body) -
for good, but the feeling fleets through
me every few moments; though this
lasts but a second or two and my
shoes remain grounded for now,
i always want to feel that way
JUL 21 2014
the way it feels can only be compared to
the split-second between sound sleep
and shaking awake, inches before your
back makes contact with the rocky bed
below, and yet it also holds all the relief
of the conscious instant following as
your back touches the plush mattress
i haven’t yet warded off gravity - its
hold on me (the one inside the body) -
for good, but the feeling fleets through
me every few moments; though this
lasts but a second or two and my
shoes remain grounded for now,
i always want to feel that way
JUL 21 2014
it’s no “kublai khan”
last night i was awakened by a knock at my door
no one expected, i slid out of bed and traipsed across my chamber
pinching the protruding lock clockwise, i let the knob counter time
or i suppose i must have ordered spontaneous frost
24 square feet of cheap wood-substitute swings towards me
i narrowly elude it’s lackadaisical lash only to be waylaid;
brow furrowed, mouth agape, i grunt beneath sudden weight
though a moment’s scarcely passed and i am without complaint
nary a pleasentry exchanged, i stand literally liberated
courtesy of a reluctantly weakened grasp, compelling ocular hunger
i fear my fingernails share this famishment upon my brandished arm
in test of the strength of my egoesque epidermal mediation
it’s no work to shirk the fault i put to a hippocampus disfunction
for recollection have i none of reuniting with slumber, yet i wonder
if i should endure the burden or if it’s worth a reprise, why
open eyes to find before was a lie, a one-off nighttime surprise?
JUL 10 2014
last night i was awakened by a knock at my door
no one expected, i slid out of bed and traipsed across my chamber
pinching the protruding lock clockwise, i let the knob counter time
or i suppose i must have ordered spontaneous frost
24 square feet of cheap wood-substitute swings towards me
i narrowly elude it’s lackadaisical lash only to be waylaid;
brow furrowed, mouth agape, i grunt beneath sudden weight
though a moment’s scarcely passed and i am without complaint
nary a pleasentry exchanged, i stand literally liberated
courtesy of a reluctantly weakened grasp, compelling ocular hunger
i fear my fingernails share this famishment upon my brandished arm
in test of the strength of my egoesque epidermal mediation
it’s no work to shirk the fault i put to a hippocampus disfunction
for recollection have i none of reuniting with slumber, yet i wonder
if i should endure the burden or if it’s worth a reprise, why
open eyes to find before was a lie, a one-off nighttime surprise?
JUL 10 2014
oblivion
i was just a boy of 13 years old
when a ginger-tinged dancer came to me and told
me a raspberry snow cone has potential to hold
a diverse ecosystem so vast and so bold
sixty-eight months it took for the biome to melt
but what’s more surprising is i never felt
the sticky sweet fructose rolling down my face
with such an incredible deficit of grace
now that scarlet streak, it rolls down down my cheek
the floor of my bath tub’s never looked this bleak
a paper-thin layer of wafer is liable to leak
its contents, without regard for how conscientious or meak
staining the porcelain vat, easily mistaken for blood
justifying my verbal restoration as cud
it drips from the bottom like strands of saliva accompanying words
as i tell of my relocation to the philistine pastures, just one of a herd
JUL 9 2014
i was just a boy of 13 years old
when a ginger-tinged dancer came to me and told
me a raspberry snow cone has potential to hold
a diverse ecosystem so vast and so bold
sixty-eight months it took for the biome to melt
but what’s more surprising is i never felt
the sticky sweet fructose rolling down my face
with such an incredible deficit of grace
now that scarlet streak, it rolls down down my cheek
the floor of my bath tub’s never looked this bleak
a paper-thin layer of wafer is liable to leak
its contents, without regard for how conscientious or meak
staining the porcelain vat, easily mistaken for blood
justifying my verbal restoration as cud
it drips from the bottom like strands of saliva accompanying words
as i tell of my relocation to the philistine pastures, just one of a herd
JUL 9 2014
for a 2-month period i slept on a made bed with just a fleece blanket
to my nine-year-old mind i was saving time so i wouldn’t have to spend it
making my bed the next morning, though it was a plan not without flaws
the cool wind from the fan bit deeply into my exposed toes as the blanket
reached only my ankles, i almost wrapped the blanket into a noose in my
sleep a few times, but worst of all i felt like i was sleeping on someone’s
couch until i could get my life together and find a bed of my own
(which is a really dark thing to think as a child with a bedtime)
eventually i just got tired of not comfortably being able to rest without fear
of ruining what looked like a perfectly-made bed (without any of the benefits)
now i’ll fuck sheets up in my sleep and deal with it in the morning, because
who gives a fuck about a neat bed if you can’t enjoy fucking it up
i definitely didn’t know it then, but thinking back on that strange era of my life
i don’t think i’ve ever been so dedicated to veiled metaphorical living
as i was as a semi-obsessive-compulsive fourth grader
JUN 23 2014
to my nine-year-old mind i was saving time so i wouldn’t have to spend it
making my bed the next morning, though it was a plan not without flaws
the cool wind from the fan bit deeply into my exposed toes as the blanket
reached only my ankles, i almost wrapped the blanket into a noose in my
sleep a few times, but worst of all i felt like i was sleeping on someone’s
couch until i could get my life together and find a bed of my own
(which is a really dark thing to think as a child with a bedtime)
eventually i just got tired of not comfortably being able to rest without fear
of ruining what looked like a perfectly-made bed (without any of the benefits)
now i’ll fuck sheets up in my sleep and deal with it in the morning, because
who gives a fuck about a neat bed if you can’t enjoy fucking it up
i definitely didn’t know it then, but thinking back on that strange era of my life
i don’t think i’ve ever been so dedicated to veiled metaphorical living
as i was as a semi-obsessive-compulsive fourth grader
JUN 23 2014
2am hotel room chronicles
(so technically, it’s 1:00am because we’re central time right now but whatever)
(so technically, it’s 1:00am because we’re central time right now but whatever)
this is how i feel right now.
as per usual, i can only think of it in the form of an extended metaphor.
you know sometimes when you feel like “behaving” you’ll order a salad, even though it’s a bigass salad on a bowl or plate larger than the plate they serve the personal pizza on and it comes with bacon and croutons and tons of feta and bleu and cheddar cheese? (idk maybe you ordered a cheese salad) well this isn’t about any of that unhealthy shit hiding behind the reputation of the healthy shit.
you know sometimes after you finish that salad (if you even finish it, let’s be real, you’re probably gonna take home the leftovers and let it sit a week before the leaves are all disgustingly soggy like an old potato chip floating in a small puddle of french onion dip) and you’re thinking you’re looking sexy as fuck because you ate “healthy” and so you’re sitting at the table [hopefully] across from the person of your dreams.
whether or not they point it out to you to save you the embarrassment, (and that could be a determining factor of whether or not they’re the person of your dreams) there’s a small bit of leaf between your teeth. not your top two front teeth, that’d be too severe an incident. i’m talking about between the upper second incisor and the canine. it could be lettuce, romaine or iceberg; spinach, regiment or bloomsdale; arugala, watercress, or - heaven forbid - kale. it doesn’t really matter what vegetable that bit of leaf is between your teeth is. it’s me.
okay, well i’m not the piece that’s visible to the casual passerby, i’m not on the frontside of the tooth. i’m the little piece that dangles behind the teeth, hanging freely above the tongue. i exist to emulate the uvula; when properly stimulated, i can induce vomiting. (okay, so maybe that was a gross way to start). whether my presence is brought to your attention or you notice me yourself, something needs to be done. naturally, as i am food - at least to you - i expect to be eaten, i await it, i yearn for it.
the problem is there are countless opinions on the matter. half the health magazines will tell you that i provide iron or vitamin double-d or minerals or water, earth, fire, air. the other half will tell you i’m somewhere between anthrax and ricin. (the third half will say that spinach is an alien life that should be cautiously avoided, but if you’re good at math you understand why this source should be ignored.) so it’s totally understandable why you’d be unsure about what to do with me.
as a result, i can never be sure of my imminent fate. i’m not a big fan of toothpicks, but at least when people sloppily prod at their gums i fall into the whirlpool of saliva that is the esophagus. dental floss, on the other hand, is my mortal nemesis. more often than not, i’m so startled that my kneejerk reaction is to grab hold of the floss. and unless you’re a weirdy, you’re not going to eat a bit of leaf off of a piece of floss.
hanging there between your teeth, awaiting the hand [or floss or toothpick] of fate. this is where i choose to live. not because i wish to be the cause of embarrassment, but because i don’t like to think what would happen if it turns out the second half of those magazines is right and you happened to opt for the toothpick route, because i don’t want to be forced to hug a piece of floss and tossed in the trash.
all of this said, i had the most delicious salad with my dinner tonight.
JUN 27 2014
as per usual, i can only think of it in the form of an extended metaphor.
you know sometimes when you feel like “behaving” you’ll order a salad, even though it’s a bigass salad on a bowl or plate larger than the plate they serve the personal pizza on and it comes with bacon and croutons and tons of feta and bleu and cheddar cheese? (idk maybe you ordered a cheese salad) well this isn’t about any of that unhealthy shit hiding behind the reputation of the healthy shit.
you know sometimes after you finish that salad (if you even finish it, let’s be real, you’re probably gonna take home the leftovers and let it sit a week before the leaves are all disgustingly soggy like an old potato chip floating in a small puddle of french onion dip) and you’re thinking you’re looking sexy as fuck because you ate “healthy” and so you’re sitting at the table [hopefully] across from the person of your dreams.
whether or not they point it out to you to save you the embarrassment, (and that could be a determining factor of whether or not they’re the person of your dreams) there’s a small bit of leaf between your teeth. not your top two front teeth, that’d be too severe an incident. i’m talking about between the upper second incisor and the canine. it could be lettuce, romaine or iceberg; spinach, regiment or bloomsdale; arugala, watercress, or - heaven forbid - kale. it doesn’t really matter what vegetable that bit of leaf is between your teeth is. it’s me.
okay, well i’m not the piece that’s visible to the casual passerby, i’m not on the frontside of the tooth. i’m the little piece that dangles behind the teeth, hanging freely above the tongue. i exist to emulate the uvula; when properly stimulated, i can induce vomiting. (okay, so maybe that was a gross way to start). whether my presence is brought to your attention or you notice me yourself, something needs to be done. naturally, as i am food - at least to you - i expect to be eaten, i await it, i yearn for it.
the problem is there are countless opinions on the matter. half the health magazines will tell you that i provide iron or vitamin double-d or minerals or water, earth, fire, air. the other half will tell you i’m somewhere between anthrax and ricin. (the third half will say that spinach is an alien life that should be cautiously avoided, but if you’re good at math you understand why this source should be ignored.) so it’s totally understandable why you’d be unsure about what to do with me.
as a result, i can never be sure of my imminent fate. i’m not a big fan of toothpicks, but at least when people sloppily prod at their gums i fall into the whirlpool of saliva that is the esophagus. dental floss, on the other hand, is my mortal nemesis. more often than not, i’m so startled that my kneejerk reaction is to grab hold of the floss. and unless you’re a weirdy, you’re not going to eat a bit of leaf off of a piece of floss.
hanging there between your teeth, awaiting the hand [or floss or toothpick] of fate. this is where i choose to live. not because i wish to be the cause of embarrassment, but because i don’t like to think what would happen if it turns out the second half of those magazines is right and you happened to opt for the toothpick route, because i don’t want to be forced to hug a piece of floss and tossed in the trash.
all of this said, i had the most delicious salad with my dinner tonight.
JUN 27 2014
remaining thoughts of a daybreak drive
i stopped biting my nails when i got braces because
it really hurt my fingers to press them up against my teeth
just so i could destroy them in a barbaric fashion, until
i thought to myself, how did cavemen clip their nails?
i figured i’d just tough out two years of waiting and
the pleasure i’d get from resuming my bad habit would
reach an all-time summit; alas, not only did i ruin two
solid years of keratin growth, but i fucked up my teeth
i would say the moral of the story is to never get
your braces off, but i was the only one displeased with
the bloody state of my fingertips, and i never even
used to show my teeth when i smiled anyway
it doesn’t matter how they look now because your
teeth and fingernails are still around long after you are
JUN 7 2014
i stopped biting my nails when i got braces because
it really hurt my fingers to press them up against my teeth
just so i could destroy them in a barbaric fashion, until
i thought to myself, how did cavemen clip their nails?
i figured i’d just tough out two years of waiting and
the pleasure i’d get from resuming my bad habit would
reach an all-time summit; alas, not only did i ruin two
solid years of keratin growth, but i fucked up my teeth
i would say the moral of the story is to never get
your braces off, but i was the only one displeased with
the bloody state of my fingertips, and i never even
used to show my teeth when i smiled anyway
it doesn’t matter how they look now because your
teeth and fingernails are still around long after you are
JUN 7 2014
each day is an olympic diving competition
i usually begin each morning at the base of the ladder, gazing up longingly at the summit
though from time to time i find myself already in the water
probably to condition my tactile senses for the inevitable plunge to the chilling water below
i finally reach the high-dive platform a little past noon, my toes peeking over
the edge at the view below, because let’s face it: from 10 meters high you can
think more freely and independently, the air is thinner but cleaner, everyone
is tiny like - not ants - fireflies as they glow intermittently momentarily making
their locations known and providing aesthetic pleasure, even if only for a second
granted, there are quicker ways to the parallel platform than the glorified step stool
but they might as well be stair-chairs for the homes of the elderly; you
have just about as much control over how quickly you ascend (by that i mean none)
the problem with rising quickly is that the plummet is made even more immediate
they say the cleaner your dive, the further beneath the water’s surface you sink
so i’ve made a point of adopting the belly flop as my routine afternoon maneuver
but once gain the gall to fall, i lose all sense of reality and curl into a ball
(excuse my inner geisel)
i generally come to at the floor of the pool, taking my time in emerging from the depths
i figure i’m already wet, why leave the water and realize just how cold the water was?
the difference between my life and an actual diving competition is the presence
of a hot tub for those unwinding post-dive, where we’d conspire to persuade
the appropriate authorities to relocate it to the high-dive platform itself
JUN 5 2014
i usually begin each morning at the base of the ladder, gazing up longingly at the summit
though from time to time i find myself already in the water
probably to condition my tactile senses for the inevitable plunge to the chilling water below
i finally reach the high-dive platform a little past noon, my toes peeking over
the edge at the view below, because let’s face it: from 10 meters high you can
think more freely and independently, the air is thinner but cleaner, everyone
is tiny like - not ants - fireflies as they glow intermittently momentarily making
their locations known and providing aesthetic pleasure, even if only for a second
granted, there are quicker ways to the parallel platform than the glorified step stool
but they might as well be stair-chairs for the homes of the elderly; you
have just about as much control over how quickly you ascend (by that i mean none)
the problem with rising quickly is that the plummet is made even more immediate
they say the cleaner your dive, the further beneath the water’s surface you sink
so i’ve made a point of adopting the belly flop as my routine afternoon maneuver
but once gain the gall to fall, i lose all sense of reality and curl into a ball
(excuse my inner geisel)
i generally come to at the floor of the pool, taking my time in emerging from the depths
i figure i’m already wet, why leave the water and realize just how cold the water was?
the difference between my life and an actual diving competition is the presence
of a hot tub for those unwinding post-dive, where we’d conspire to persuade
the appropriate authorities to relocate it to the high-dive platform itself
JUN 5 2014
this evening i was forced to juggle
so i chopped off both of my hands
choosing to leave the balls resting
upon the clear, glass coffee tabletop
rather than risk their plummeting
towards the soft, stained carpet
JUN 1 2014
so i chopped off both of my hands
choosing to leave the balls resting
upon the clear, glass coffee tabletop
rather than risk their plummeting
towards the soft, stained carpet
JUN 1 2014
alarm clock reflections
throughout high school i was without a smartphone (don’t pity me)
and each evening before i went to sleep i was tasked with the duty
of remembering to set its alarm to 6 o’clock
so long as i recalled and duly executed my bedtime routine
each day at 6 o’clock it would chime with a low-quality rendition of
the inbetweeners theme song
though each morning i stirred groggily awake, totally unprepared
for the course of events that the day had in store, and so i
reluctantly trudged on with what i thought must be done
day in and day out, such was the bookend procedure appointing dream
and yet some of those morns began the best days of my life,
but oft i ponder on if i’d have been better off without an alarm
or better yet arising before and reciprocating the favor for once
though not as an irresponsible form of indefinite applying the snooze function
rather to champion helios and the day with him
MAY 31 2014
throughout high school i was without a smartphone (don’t pity me)
and each evening before i went to sleep i was tasked with the duty
of remembering to set its alarm to 6 o’clock
so long as i recalled and duly executed my bedtime routine
each day at 6 o’clock it would chime with a low-quality rendition of
the inbetweeners theme song
though each morning i stirred groggily awake, totally unprepared
for the course of events that the day had in store, and so i
reluctantly trudged on with what i thought must be done
day in and day out, such was the bookend procedure appointing dream
and yet some of those morns began the best days of my life,
but oft i ponder on if i’d have been better off without an alarm
or better yet arising before and reciprocating the favor for once
though not as an irresponsible form of indefinite applying the snooze function
rather to champion helios and the day with him
MAY 31 2014
red ribbons are the best ribbons
i think that old childhood saying was completely true
first is the worst, second is the best…
winning signifies potential and create anticipation of achievement
runners-up verifies competence without any of the pressure
i think that old childhood saying was completely true
first is the worst, second is the best…
winning signifies potential and create anticipation of achievement
runners-up verifies competence without any of the pressure
the only question now is whether i should waste a red sharpie
to conceal the cerulean successes that stain my past
or whether low-iron erythrocytes will suffice
wait -
my 3d glasses were faulty
they’ve been red all along
no wonder they didn’t jump off the screen
for he’s a jolly-decent fellow?
not how the fucking song goes
MAY 29 2014
to conceal the cerulean successes that stain my past
or whether low-iron erythrocytes will suffice
wait -
my 3d glasses were faulty
they’ve been red all along
no wonder they didn’t jump off the screen
for he’s a jolly-decent fellow?
not how the fucking song goes
MAY 29 2014
with seven digits on my forearm, i became a coaster
collecting condensation that rolled down your forehead
droplets ran down your side, clearly symbolizing the
fatigue you felt from keeping your cool
a nervous habit, your picking at my saturated edges,
flicking them freely about the room and speckling the
hardwood floors with my moist edges
i think a beam of light glared off a small, hazardous puddle
that a piece of me left, but you didn’t think anything of it
as you chucked aside the remaining shreds - me
never again to stand between yourself and a ring
collecting condensation that rolled down your forehead
droplets ran down your side, clearly symbolizing the
fatigue you felt from keeping your cool
a nervous habit, your picking at my saturated edges,
flicking them freely about the room and speckling the
hardwood floors with my moist edges
i think a beam of light glared off a small, hazardous puddle
that a piece of me left, but you didn’t think anything of it
as you chucked aside the remaining shreds - me
never again to stand between yourself and a ring
MAY 22 2014
i’m not oblivious
i’m respectful
MAY 22 2014
i’m respectful
MAY 22 2014
they don’t make patches to get over you
there’s no gum or electronic alternative to your buzz
i haven’t found any 12 step program that would help me
sure, there are hobbies i could take up to pass the time
but birdwatching isn’t one of them, i’d look for you in the trees
carpentry’s a good one, but i’d build you a fucking house
i could salt my throat with sunflower seeds like mr. sir from holes
but it’d end up just as dry as my lips before yours wet them
i’ve never been a quitter before, so why should i now?
because i haven’t even started
MAY 19 2014
there’s no gum or electronic alternative to your buzz
i haven’t found any 12 step program that would help me
sure, there are hobbies i could take up to pass the time
but birdwatching isn’t one of them, i’d look for you in the trees
carpentry’s a good one, but i’d build you a fucking house
i could salt my throat with sunflower seeds like mr. sir from holes
but it’d end up just as dry as my lips before yours wet them
i’ve never been a quitter before, so why should i now?
because i haven’t even started
MAY 19 2014
memoirs of the third bearcat
standing in the student section of the bleachers during
a high school playoff football game, you turned to me and asked
"do you wanna go somewhere else?"
it was only halftime, but you knew i hated sports
(i’m not really sure why i went to those games anyway)
so i said
"yeah"
and we made our way to my car, careful not to
draw any attention to ourselves as we did so
we ended up at the park - the same park we always ended up at -
i pulled out a pack of cigarettes as you rolled your eyes at me and
jokingly asked you if you wanted one, knowing you’d say
"you know i don’t smoke"
and you probably still don’t,
but as i spoke your chest rose and fell so heavily,
so steadily that i could only assume
you were breathing in every word i said and getting a much
different kind of buzz off of them
(which is probably why i still smoke, because i like to think that
when i do you’re recalling how they felt in your lungs)
i made a pinky promise to you that if i ever went through with
what it was you wanted me to do,
(i still haven’t)
you’d be the first person i told
and you made the pinky promise that if you ever did what i didn’t
want you to do,
i’d be the last person you told
so you can imagine my dismay to receive your text just three
days later asking me to meet you at the same park,
the same jungle gym that
just three days earlier
we had made the promise
only so you could spill your beans all over the mulch beneath
my feet and have me futilely try to examine each one
as if i were supposed handpick them for a chili
to be served to the fucking queen
i don’t know if you remember driving me home that night,
(i sure as shit don’t)
and i’m sorry if i puked in the backseat of your car
but i had to rid my mouth of the acerbic taste of your hypocrisy
and i guess the only way to do that was to drink a bottle
of nyquil and smoke half a pack
right in front of you so you could see that i would choose
any other poison over your words
and the worst part was i could still taste them the next day
i hope my stomach acid stained your upholstery
MAY 17 2014
standing in the student section of the bleachers during
a high school playoff football game, you turned to me and asked
"do you wanna go somewhere else?"
it was only halftime, but you knew i hated sports
(i’m not really sure why i went to those games anyway)
so i said
"yeah"
and we made our way to my car, careful not to
draw any attention to ourselves as we did so
we ended up at the park - the same park we always ended up at -
i pulled out a pack of cigarettes as you rolled your eyes at me and
jokingly asked you if you wanted one, knowing you’d say
"you know i don’t smoke"
and you probably still don’t,
but as i spoke your chest rose and fell so heavily,
so steadily that i could only assume
you were breathing in every word i said and getting a much
different kind of buzz off of them
(which is probably why i still smoke, because i like to think that
when i do you’re recalling how they felt in your lungs)
i made a pinky promise to you that if i ever went through with
what it was you wanted me to do,
(i still haven’t)
you’d be the first person i told
and you made the pinky promise that if you ever did what i didn’t
want you to do,
i’d be the last person you told
so you can imagine my dismay to receive your text just three
days later asking me to meet you at the same park,
the same jungle gym that
just three days earlier
we had made the promise
only so you could spill your beans all over the mulch beneath
my feet and have me futilely try to examine each one
as if i were supposed handpick them for a chili
to be served to the fucking queen
i don’t know if you remember driving me home that night,
(i sure as shit don’t)
and i’m sorry if i puked in the backseat of your car
but i had to rid my mouth of the acerbic taste of your hypocrisy
and i guess the only way to do that was to drink a bottle
of nyquil and smoke half a pack
right in front of you so you could see that i would choose
any other poison over your words
and the worst part was i could still taste them the next day
i hope my stomach acid stained your upholstery
MAY 17 2014
every person on this bus is alone
i imagine what i would say to the girl with the earrings that resemble a wallet chain
i would like to compliment the beard of the man in the mountain dew t-shirt
the woman with the bucket hat seems worried and contemplative, and i wish to put her at ease
the view through the raindrop-splattered window must be rather calming for the girl in the striped sweater
a man in baby blue scrubs just boarded and i would like to read the newspaper headlines over his shoulder
i can only assume the fellow in the trucker hat drives the corresponding vehicle
but i doubt he could take me anywhere as entertaining as this vehicular video
MAY 15 2014
i imagine what i would say to the girl with the earrings that resemble a wallet chain
i would like to compliment the beard of the man in the mountain dew t-shirt
the woman with the bucket hat seems worried and contemplative, and i wish to put her at ease
the view through the raindrop-splattered window must be rather calming for the girl in the striped sweater
a man in baby blue scrubs just boarded and i would like to read the newspaper headlines over his shoulder
i can only assume the fellow in the trucker hat drives the corresponding vehicle
but i doubt he could take me anywhere as entertaining as this vehicular video
MAY 15 2014
it’s the time of night when i usually write about you
but not tonight
tonight i’m not going to talk about how you make me want to punch myself in the throat for saying what i did and holding back what i didn’t
tonight i’m not going to say anything about how when your name appears on my phone i get cold sweats that could drown talcum powder
tonight i’m not going to mention my nervous quivering stomach and how it growls a soft ballad that my voice repeats and passes off as its own
tonight i’m not going to think about the nervous twitch above my right eyebrow and how it pulsates with the rhythm of your speech
instead, i’ll spend tomorrow wondering why i didn’t
MAY 10 2014
but not tonight
tonight i’m not going to talk about how you make me want to punch myself in the throat for saying what i did and holding back what i didn’t
tonight i’m not going to say anything about how when your name appears on my phone i get cold sweats that could drown talcum powder
tonight i’m not going to mention my nervous quivering stomach and how it growls a soft ballad that my voice repeats and passes off as its own
tonight i’m not going to think about the nervous twitch above my right eyebrow and how it pulsates with the rhythm of your speech
instead, i’ll spend tomorrow wondering why i didn’t
MAY 10 2014
this potato salad
tastes like fourth of july barbecues spent alone
because you’re at that awkward age between the cool
older kids and the immature young’uns
tastes like the bitter acceptance of failure
because you woke up from a nap and are too apathetic
to bother cooking anything for yourself
tastes like waving goodbye for a bit too long
because you’re not entirely sure that they saw you do it
and you want them to know that’s what it is
MAY 9 2014
tastes like fourth of july barbecues spent alone
because you’re at that awkward age between the cool
older kids and the immature young’uns
tastes like the bitter acceptance of failure
because you woke up from a nap and are too apathetic
to bother cooking anything for yourself
tastes like waving goodbye for a bit too long
because you’re not entirely sure that they saw you do it
and you want them to know that’s what it is
MAY 9 2014
most days i feel like a puppy
i lose track of time playing around with you and get lost
in your voice as i listen to you speaking nonsense to me
(sometimes you even confide in me - so many secrets)
better believe i’m having a fucking awesome dream if
my legs are twitching and my eyes are closed
i’m in all of your pictures and you talk about how cute i am
plus every now and then you’ll pick one of my hairs
off of your shirt but it doesn’t make you angry
whenever you walk around you trust me to remain
loyally trotting by your side on an invisible leash
i’d give you a strange look if you were to scratch my
belly but in seconds i’d go mad for it and pray it doesn’t end
sometimes i even bark at you and just hope you
understand what i mean and you seem to do so
which makes me happy until i remember i have to
sleep alone on the floor with nobody to hold me
MAY 8 2014
i lose track of time playing around with you and get lost
in your voice as i listen to you speaking nonsense to me
(sometimes you even confide in me - so many secrets)
better believe i’m having a fucking awesome dream if
my legs are twitching and my eyes are closed
i’m in all of your pictures and you talk about how cute i am
plus every now and then you’ll pick one of my hairs
off of your shirt but it doesn’t make you angry
whenever you walk around you trust me to remain
loyally trotting by your side on an invisible leash
i’d give you a strange look if you were to scratch my
belly but in seconds i’d go mad for it and pray it doesn’t end
sometimes i even bark at you and just hope you
understand what i mean and you seem to do so
which makes me happy until i remember i have to
sleep alone on the floor with nobody to hold me
MAY 8 2014
i suppose i’m something of an job assignment
that you feel privileged enough to commence whenever you’re broke
and sitting around wondering what sort of profit you can gain from
an hour’s labor
or maybe i’m a hobby that you take up in your spare time as a way
to keep your wits about you and to give you something of a craft
to show off
i hope i don’t exhaust you to the point where your efforts surpass
your output, because i would hate for you to leave me empty-
handed
the way i always leave you
MAY 7 2014
that you feel privileged enough to commence whenever you’re broke
and sitting around wondering what sort of profit you can gain from
an hour’s labor
or maybe i’m a hobby that you take up in your spare time as a way
to keep your wits about you and to give you something of a craft
to show off
i hope i don’t exhaust you to the point where your efforts surpass
your output, because i would hate for you to leave me empty-
handed
the way i always leave you
MAY 7 2014
sometimes i stop myself from making cups of tea
because i imagine all the steps involved in preparation
and i can’t help think how envious it would seem of me to
disturb the perfect fit of the spoons sitting in the third slot
of the silverware drawer just because i would like a warm
beverage to soothe me before i retire to my empty bed.
MAY 6 2014
because i imagine all the steps involved in preparation
and i can’t help think how envious it would seem of me to
disturb the perfect fit of the spoons sitting in the third slot
of the silverware drawer just because i would like a warm
beverage to soothe me before i retire to my empty bed.
MAY 6 2014
i made up a punishment system just for you
i told you that if you went two hours without texting me back and didn’t tell me why
or say goodbye,
that was a strike
if you accumulated seven strikes (because let’s face it, i wouldn’t punish you after just three -
i’d be punishing me
primarily) that was probation
in a way i used to pray you’d make probation because you’d make a point to talk to me twice as much,
and sometimes you would clutch
your phone to your chest so you wouldn’t miss a text
overall i don’t think the rules really punished you because when you’d earn a strike you didn’t have a clue
really it was me who was left blue
but i guess i shouldn’t have had to find a way
to make you take to me in the first place
they were fucking stupid rules but i was
stupider for thinking you’d stick to them
MAY 6 2014
i told you that if you went two hours without texting me back and didn’t tell me why
or say goodbye,
that was a strike
if you accumulated seven strikes (because let’s face it, i wouldn’t punish you after just three -
i’d be punishing me
primarily) that was probation
in a way i used to pray you’d make probation because you’d make a point to talk to me twice as much,
and sometimes you would clutch
your phone to your chest so you wouldn’t miss a text
overall i don’t think the rules really punished you because when you’d earn a strike you didn’t have a clue
really it was me who was left blue
but i guess i shouldn’t have had to find a way
to make you take to me in the first place
they were fucking stupid rules but i was
stupider for thinking you’d stick to them
MAY 6 2014
i’m sitting on the floor of the guest room
i’ve found myself in a lot of guest rooms as of late
sometimes it feels like every room i occupy is for visitors
in some circles - generally more lavish ones -
rooms can be called chambers, and hearts have four
i sometimes wonder if i was just another tourist
stopping by in yours before you pumped me out
i’m sorry if i forgot to sign your guest book
but it was time to find a different inn and now i’m ready
i’ve obtained a pen and i’ve been working on legibility
so i leave a much prettier mark on the next one i come across
MAY 4 2014
i’ve found myself in a lot of guest rooms as of late
sometimes it feels like every room i occupy is for visitors
in some circles - generally more lavish ones -
rooms can be called chambers, and hearts have four
i sometimes wonder if i was just another tourist
stopping by in yours before you pumped me out
i’m sorry if i forgot to sign your guest book
but it was time to find a different inn and now i’m ready
i’ve obtained a pen and i’ve been working on legibility
so i leave a much prettier mark on the next one i come across
MAY 4 2014
i feel like i’m picking mangoes
in the middle of december
yet i keep asking myself
why they’re not ripe yet
MAY 4 2014
in the middle of december
yet i keep asking myself
why they’re not ripe yet
MAY 4 2014
retrospective observations
you tore sticks of gum in half
you sneezed like troy did before pierce taught him the manly way
you ate ice cream even though it always made you sick
you yawned like a puppy
you had extremely ticklish ankles
you ran your fingers along the insides of my forearms and knew that was the most ticklish i would ever be
you didn’t like when you had short hair but you always got it cut the same length
you always found the same spot on the bone in my arm with your knuckles whenever you’d hit me
you used small backpacks instead of purses
you knew as many things about the harry potter movies as i did
you always mixed up your and you’re
you got the same phone i had and convinced your mom to do the same
you said your favorite band was switchfoot until you realized other musicians weren’t all heathens
you probably had biceps of steel because you never seemed to get tired of holding the phone to your ear
you used a tingly mint chapstick that made all water feel like pellegrino
you weren’t afraid to ask me to buy you shaving cream and tampons
you tripped at the same part of the sidewalk outside my house every time you’d leave and i’d always catch you
you always put your legs on mine no matter where we were or how formal the occasion was
you had a knack for getting makeup on my glasses but i didn’t want to take them off because you said i looked cute with glasses (probably why i still wear them)
you found a way to make a single movie theater seat work as a three-cushion sofa for us to sprawl out on
you came up with the best excuses for us being on the floor when my mom would walk in
you looked me straight in the eyes for a split second at the end of each kiss
you didn’t want me to smoke weed and i didn’t want to because you were better than any drug
you drove with your left knee clutched to your body even though it would kill you if you ever crashed
you didn’t like clocks because they reminded you eventually we’d have to say goodbye
you never cried until i said it for the last time
i don’t know if any of this is still true
and i don’t want to either
MAY 3 2014
you tore sticks of gum in half
you sneezed like troy did before pierce taught him the manly way
you ate ice cream even though it always made you sick
you yawned like a puppy
you had extremely ticklish ankles
you ran your fingers along the insides of my forearms and knew that was the most ticklish i would ever be
you didn’t like when you had short hair but you always got it cut the same length
you always found the same spot on the bone in my arm with your knuckles whenever you’d hit me
you used small backpacks instead of purses
you knew as many things about the harry potter movies as i did
you always mixed up your and you’re
you got the same phone i had and convinced your mom to do the same
you said your favorite band was switchfoot until you realized other musicians weren’t all heathens
you probably had biceps of steel because you never seemed to get tired of holding the phone to your ear
you used a tingly mint chapstick that made all water feel like pellegrino
you weren’t afraid to ask me to buy you shaving cream and tampons
you tripped at the same part of the sidewalk outside my house every time you’d leave and i’d always catch you
you always put your legs on mine no matter where we were or how formal the occasion was
you had a knack for getting makeup on my glasses but i didn’t want to take them off because you said i looked cute with glasses (probably why i still wear them)
you found a way to make a single movie theater seat work as a three-cushion sofa for us to sprawl out on
you came up with the best excuses for us being on the floor when my mom would walk in
you looked me straight in the eyes for a split second at the end of each kiss
you didn’t want me to smoke weed and i didn’t want to because you were better than any drug
you drove with your left knee clutched to your body even though it would kill you if you ever crashed
you didn’t like clocks because they reminded you eventually we’d have to say goodbye
you never cried until i said it for the last time
i don’t know if any of this is still true
and i don’t want to either
MAY 3 2014
every time you told me to calm down
i took it to heart, or at least to that general area
something about that word pairing now renders
me catatonic, whereas before i think it slowly ate
away at me like black coffee eroding tooth enamel
though that would be its sole impact at this point
there’s not a brew out there that could wake me up
or so it seemed
the nights are sleepless now as they blur with days,
so much so that i see it in the reluctant tie-dye affair between
twilight and dusk, interrupted only by an innocent skywriter
who is not so selfish as to hoard to himself the cosmos,
but rather, shares the experience through words -
all of a common tongue, each bearing connotations galore
i read the dictionary for breakfast now
MAY 3 2014
i took it to heart, or at least to that general area
something about that word pairing now renders
me catatonic, whereas before i think it slowly ate
away at me like black coffee eroding tooth enamel
though that would be its sole impact at this point
there’s not a brew out there that could wake me up
or so it seemed
the nights are sleepless now as they blur with days,
so much so that i see it in the reluctant tie-dye affair between
twilight and dusk, interrupted only by an innocent skywriter
who is not so selfish as to hoard to himself the cosmos,
but rather, shares the experience through words -
all of a common tongue, each bearing connotations galore
i read the dictionary for breakfast now
MAY 3 2014
i want my beard to fill out
so that my constant scratching is justified
let my fingernails become razorblades or
better yet a john deere lawn mower that
hacks away at the yard of indifference i’ve
allowed to grow on my face until there’s no
more greenery or peach fuzz but leave the
motor running as i peel each layer of the
skin from my face and chuck the displaced
soil haphazardly until the original garden
is no longer recognizable at all.
MAY 3 2014
so that my constant scratching is justified
let my fingernails become razorblades or
better yet a john deere lawn mower that
hacks away at the yard of indifference i’ve
allowed to grow on my face until there’s no
more greenery or peach fuzz but leave the
motor running as i peel each layer of the
skin from my face and chuck the displaced
soil haphazardly until the original garden
is no longer recognizable at all.
MAY 3 2014
i like you a lot
so i decided to write
a haiku for you
but how i feel’s not
concise enough to fit in
a single haiku
sorry if you thought
i’d have the words to say in
a haiku or two
i don’t have them at all
MAY 3 2014
so i decided to write
a haiku for you
but how i feel’s not
concise enough to fit in
a single haiku
sorry if you thought
i’d have the words to say in
a haiku or two
i don’t have them at all
MAY 3 2014
i left a glob of ranch dressing on the counter earlier this evening
as usual i put too much on the plate and it dripped
over onto the speckled purple material counter
i looked at it for longer than i should have before
deciding it would get wiped eventually
now it’s 4:35am and the hue has yellowed to a
sickly off-white but the bacon bits are still red
i didn’t think it would solidify so quickly and get
all crusty but i guess eight hours isn’t “quick”
here i am wiping up a mess i made earlier even
if you don’t consider a drop of ranch a mess i do
i can feel it squish inside the paper towel between
my thumb and middle finger like a beetle’s head
the chicken strips weren’t that good anyway
i didn’t eat them all
MAY 3 2014
as usual i put too much on the plate and it dripped
over onto the speckled purple material counter
i looked at it for longer than i should have before
deciding it would get wiped eventually
now it’s 4:35am and the hue has yellowed to a
sickly off-white but the bacon bits are still red
i didn’t think it would solidify so quickly and get
all crusty but i guess eight hours isn’t “quick”
here i am wiping up a mess i made earlier even
if you don’t consider a drop of ranch a mess i do
i can feel it squish inside the paper towel between
my thumb and middle finger like a beetle’s head
the chicken strips weren’t that good anyway
i didn’t eat them all
MAY 3 2014
my favorite parts of sleepovers as a kid
was staying up talking until my parents woke up
but now it seems like twitter, texts, facebook chats
are the new bedtime heart to hearts
and that’s okay
but you can’t hear the childish hesitance
in your friend’s voice when he admits to you
who he has a crush on
or the trembling, word-clenching panic
when he tells you the things he fears most
in life or death
i think bob dylan got it right in his
third studio album
MAY 2 2014
was staying up talking until my parents woke up
but now it seems like twitter, texts, facebook chats
are the new bedtime heart to hearts
and that’s okay
but you can’t hear the childish hesitance
in your friend’s voice when he admits to you
who he has a crush on
or the trembling, word-clenching panic
when he tells you the things he fears most
in life or death
i think bob dylan got it right in his
third studio album
MAY 2 2014
let’s all tell truths for a day
i’ll start
you may be the most beautiful person
that has ever walked between
my eyes and the endless space beyond
i don’t know what space actually looks like
and i don’t think anyone ever will
but damn, do you make it look ugly
MAY 2 2014
i’ll start
you may be the most beautiful person
that has ever walked between
my eyes and the endless space beyond
i don’t know what space actually looks like
and i don’t think anyone ever will
but damn, do you make it look ugly
MAY 2 2014
i don’t like umbrellas
i like to feel the rain drops drench my shirt
i don’t care if they abide by a rhythm
i like to think they’re bullets of clarity
i try to dodge them like a neo of ambiguity
i wear flipflops on muddy paths
i like the dirt between my toes
i feel the grains wrestle each other
i am the referee and they all lose
i’m the winner here
MAY 2 2014
i like to feel the rain drops drench my shirt
i don’t care if they abide by a rhythm
i like to think they’re bullets of clarity
i try to dodge them like a neo of ambiguity
i wear flipflops on muddy paths
i like the dirt between my toes
i feel the grains wrestle each other
i am the referee and they all lose
i’m the winner here
MAY 2 2014
as i lie here embracing the burn of fiery salsa in my stomach
i think about all the other parts of me that burn
some more welcome than others
none so much as the salsa
MAY 2 2014
i think about all the other parts of me that burn
some more welcome than others
none so much as the salsa
MAY 2 2014
i love the taste of mushrooms and onions
but if you actually put them in my food
i can promise i will spit them out
and probably not into a napkin
unless your mother made the meal
in which case, i mind my peas and queues
i love wordplay
of course, as soon as i say that
i can’t think of any puns or jokes
to use as eggzamples
(my roommate is eating eggs right next to me,
so i guess that’s as good as it’ll get for now)
i’m a big robert frost fan
which is probably i always take roads
never traveled, because who wants
to take a road anyone else has ever taken?
i’ll walk on the muddy banks of a river
just to make sure the waffle soles of my vans
are the only footsteps there
i have a habit of saying lines
in movies and shows right before
they’re actually said, even though
i know a lot of people fucking hate that
and in all honesty, it’s just me
showing off that i’ve been exposed
to far too much pop culture
i would much rather be freezing
with pointy nipples and minniscule bawls
than have sweat drip down my
buttcrack and/or face
hell, i’ve even taken out the trash
for my grandma in new york
after a snowstorm in a tank top
just to impress her elderly neighbors
(who all make a point of pinching my cheeks -
the ones on my face -
and assaulting me with questions about
the single life of a young adult)
i will eat any kind of “butter”
(peanut, hazelnut, cookie, etc)
straight from the jar until i am
physically ill
probably because my lola -
that’s filipino for grandma -
eats actual sticks of butter
and poultry buttholes
in fact, in fourth grade
i once told my friends to
put anything they wanted onto
my lunch tray and mix it up
and i ate it in exchange for a
pokemon card
it was onyx, so it totally
wasn’t worth it but at the time
i was a schoolboy god
i take pride in the fact that
i won a gold medal in fencing
at a summer camp i went to when
i was 12, even thought the “medal”
was a white paper plate painted yellow
(i was also the mvp of volleyball week
because i had 25 straight ace serves,
but that’s not as cool)
one of my guilty pleasures
is singing r&b songs from the early 2000s
but if it’s a female vocalist, i can guarantee
you i will sing her part in its original
octave with all the runs and
embellishments, because i take
great pride in my voice even though
i’m slowly destroying it with
substances which i don’t feel
comfortable specifying on the internet
i crack my knuckles more than i should
physically be able to, and i think it’s because
there are bubbles in the veins of my hands,
which are also probably too visible
basically, i’m a hypochondriac and i’m convinced
that i have chronic appendicitis
(you can look it up, it’s a real thing)
and i’m relatively sure my jaw is misaligned
because it clicks whenever i chew kit-kat bars
which actually isn’t that often
i’d wait in a line at barnes & noble for an hour
just to ask where a book is located in the store
but two weeks later, if i’m not halfway through it
i’ll write it off as another thing i’ll never read
it’s this very fact which makes me
question the modern-day definition of literacy
i’m genuinely considering speaking with a british
accent for the entirety of the fall semester,
just so i can ask my professors for letters of
recommendation later in my normal voice
i would never write myself one if i knew me
though i suppose you can write a letter
recommending that you never associate with me
but if you actually put them in my food
i can promise i will spit them out
and probably not into a napkin
unless your mother made the meal
in which case, i mind my peas and queues
i love wordplay
of course, as soon as i say that
i can’t think of any puns or jokes
to use as eggzamples
(my roommate is eating eggs right next to me,
so i guess that’s as good as it’ll get for now)
i’m a big robert frost fan
which is probably i always take roads
never traveled, because who wants
to take a road anyone else has ever taken?
i’ll walk on the muddy banks of a river
just to make sure the waffle soles of my vans
are the only footsteps there
i have a habit of saying lines
in movies and shows right before
they’re actually said, even though
i know a lot of people fucking hate that
and in all honesty, it’s just me
showing off that i’ve been exposed
to far too much pop culture
i would much rather be freezing
with pointy nipples and minniscule bawls
than have sweat drip down my
buttcrack and/or face
hell, i’ve even taken out the trash
for my grandma in new york
after a snowstorm in a tank top
just to impress her elderly neighbors
(who all make a point of pinching my cheeks -
the ones on my face -
and assaulting me with questions about
the single life of a young adult)
i will eat any kind of “butter”
(peanut, hazelnut, cookie, etc)
straight from the jar until i am
physically ill
probably because my lola -
that’s filipino for grandma -
eats actual sticks of butter
and poultry buttholes
in fact, in fourth grade
i once told my friends to
put anything they wanted onto
my lunch tray and mix it up
and i ate it in exchange for a
pokemon card
it was onyx, so it totally
wasn’t worth it but at the time
i was a schoolboy god
i take pride in the fact that
i won a gold medal in fencing
at a summer camp i went to when
i was 12, even thought the “medal”
was a white paper plate painted yellow
(i was also the mvp of volleyball week
because i had 25 straight ace serves,
but that’s not as cool)
one of my guilty pleasures
is singing r&b songs from the early 2000s
but if it’s a female vocalist, i can guarantee
you i will sing her part in its original
octave with all the runs and
embellishments, because i take
great pride in my voice even though
i’m slowly destroying it with
substances which i don’t feel
comfortable specifying on the internet
i crack my knuckles more than i should
physically be able to, and i think it’s because
there are bubbles in the veins of my hands,
which are also probably too visible
basically, i’m a hypochondriac and i’m convinced
that i have chronic appendicitis
(you can look it up, it’s a real thing)
and i’m relatively sure my jaw is misaligned
because it clicks whenever i chew kit-kat bars
which actually isn’t that often
i’d wait in a line at barnes & noble for an hour
just to ask where a book is located in the store
but two weeks later, if i’m not halfway through it
i’ll write it off as another thing i’ll never read
it’s this very fact which makes me
question the modern-day definition of literacy
i’m genuinely considering speaking with a british
accent for the entirety of the fall semester,
just so i can ask my professors for letters of
recommendation later in my normal voice
i would never write myself one if i knew me
though i suppose you can write a letter
recommending that you never associate with me
and i guess i just wrote one.
MAY 1 2014
i love talking to you
at least, i like to think i would
if i ever had the guts to do it
my esophagus closes up
(good luck getting the words out)
my stomach grumbles
probably the only sound i would make
my liver fails from toxic thoughts
black bile fills the emptiness
my appendix inflames with things to say
i can only hope it bursts
and the doctor gives you the contents
in a heart-shaped box
MAY 1 2014
at least, i like to think i would
if i ever had the guts to do it
my esophagus closes up
(good luck getting the words out)
my stomach grumbles
probably the only sound i would make
my liver fails from toxic thoughts
black bile fills the emptiness
my appendix inflames with things to say
i can only hope it bursts
and the doctor gives you the contents
in a heart-shaped box
MAY 1 2014
i don’t believe in competition
i know it exists, but
that doesn’t mean i have to partake
that’s probably why i don’t like sports
there was a pool party -
or maybe it was a costume party,
maybe both -
we raced across the pool
(freestyle, because nobody knows any other strokes)
and you had a polka-dot swimsuit on
and i never told you, but the way you looked in it was my motivation
i didn’t win,
but you said i should’ve
and as far as i was concerned, i did
i was your spartan, you were my athena
i don’t give a shit what mythology says
that’s the way our story went
but nobody will read about that
in an edith hamilton book of myths
MAY 1 2014
i know it exists, but
that doesn’t mean i have to partake
that’s probably why i don’t like sports
there was a pool party -
or maybe it was a costume party,
maybe both -
we raced across the pool
(freestyle, because nobody knows any other strokes)
and you had a polka-dot swimsuit on
and i never told you, but the way you looked in it was my motivation
i didn’t win,
but you said i should’ve
and as far as i was concerned, i did
i was your spartan, you were my athena
i don’t give a shit what mythology says
that’s the way our story went
but nobody will read about that
in an edith hamilton book of myths
MAY 1 2014
you
would probably bet your life that this is about you
and it is,
so i guess you should go eat pretzel sticks
and pose with those huge posters at the movies
but it’s not,
so stop acting like you won $5 in a scratch-off
pay me what the laws of gambling say is mine
i’ve never been the aggressive type
(double letters intimidate me)
i’ll write this one off, but
just keep in mind i failed accounting,
so i may not do it properly
just keep an eye out for letters from the irs
(a bad attempt at an even worse pun)
call it loan entrance counseling
if it alleviates the burden
of such a crippling debt ——
i talk about you to my friends
my sister knows your favorite musical
my mom started buying the perfume you wear
my dog scratches at the french glass
on our front door when your car pulls up
hell, even my grandma asks me how you are
and quite frankly, her memory is fading
i wish i knew how to answer her
APR 30 2014
would probably bet your life that this is about you
and it is,
so i guess you should go eat pretzel sticks
and pose with those huge posters at the movies
but it’s not,
so stop acting like you won $5 in a scratch-off
pay me what the laws of gambling say is mine
i’ve never been the aggressive type
(double letters intimidate me)
i’ll write this one off, but
just keep in mind i failed accounting,
so i may not do it properly
just keep an eye out for letters from the irs
(a bad attempt at an even worse pun)
call it loan entrance counseling
if it alleviates the burden
of such a crippling debt ——
i talk about you to my friends
my sister knows your favorite musical
my mom started buying the perfume you wear
my dog scratches at the french glass
on our front door when your car pulls up
hell, even my grandma asks me how you are
and quite frankly, her memory is fading
i wish i knew how to answer her
APR 30 2014
i woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
well i woke up in the middle of the bed
but got out on the wrong side
well i guess it’s the right side
but it’s not my side
it’s also not your side
anymore, anyway
though i suppose it was never your side
we never had sides
well we do now,
and i hope you finally have the right side
or the left side
(if that’s not wrong of me)
but i hope that it feels right
APR 30 2014
well i woke up in the middle of the bed
but got out on the wrong side
well i guess it’s the right side
but it’s not my side
it’s also not your side
anymore, anyway
though i suppose it was never your side
we never had sides
well we do now,
and i hope you finally have the right side
or the left side
(if that’s not wrong of me)
but i hope that it feels right
APR 30 2014
i can’t even
wait can i even say what i can’t?
probably
will i?
eventually, once i can again
APR 30 2014
wait can i even say what i can’t?
probably
will i?
eventually, once i can again
APR 30 2014
my lips are chapped
from all the times i’ve bitten them
out of, what, restraint? frustration? boredom?
my cuticles are receding
from all the time i’ve picked at them
because of… habit? nerves? asymmetry?
my arms are covered in bug bites
from all the bugs that have fed on them
for some accommodation? mutualism? acceptance?
take your pick
APR 29 2014
from all the times i’ve bitten them
out of, what, restraint? frustration? boredom?
my cuticles are receding
from all the time i’ve picked at them
because of… habit? nerves? asymmetry?
my arms are covered in bug bites
from all the bugs that have fed on them
for some accommodation? mutualism? acceptance?
take your pick
APR 29 2014
do you remember all of the letters
that i wrote about the past and future,
but never the present because we lived it
-
(well i lived it anyway, i guess you were there
i can’t speak for you even though i should have
it very well could have been the other way around,
my memory is hazy from the scent of burnt paper)
-
so i guess you wouldn’t remember them
how could you?
there’s a box in my closet where they all sit
unread, edges singed, words invalid
-
(words can never lose their worth
but they can lose their context,
like a playground sandbox becomes an oversized ashtray
once the youthful naïveté departs)
-
you don’t remember the letters
and now you never will
APR 29 2014
that i wrote about the past and future,
but never the present because we lived it
-
(well i lived it anyway, i guess you were there
i can’t speak for you even though i should have
it very well could have been the other way around,
my memory is hazy from the scent of burnt paper)
-
so i guess you wouldn’t remember them
how could you?
there’s a box in my closet where they all sit
unread, edges singed, words invalid
-
(words can never lose their worth
but they can lose their context,
like a playground sandbox becomes an oversized ashtray
once the youthful naïveté departs)
-
you don’t remember the letters
and now you never will
APR 29 2014
maybe i can write something
well i know i can
but how do you make black squiggles
open their mouths
do they speak?
probably not
don’t they?
APR 27 2014
well i know i can
but how do you make black squiggles
open their mouths
do they speak?
probably not
don’t they?
APR 27 2014
how do i pursue
even if i knew how to talk to you
or what to say would i do it today?
no way
(probably)
if i did it’d be an anomaly you see
you can’t begin to understand
the plans i have, not like they’re full of sand
or sun or seas
- the former makes me sneeze -
but i know you’d be pleased and
that’s enough for me
APR 27 2014
even if i knew how to talk to you
or what to say would i do it today?
no way
(probably)
if i did it’d be an anomaly you see
you can’t begin to understand
the plans i have, not like they’re full of sand
or sun or seas
- the former makes me sneeze -
but i know you’d be pleased and
that’s enough for me
APR 27 2014
i kept the dvd you let me borrow
not because i wanted to maliciously keep it in my possession
- i think you were actually giving it to me anyway -
but because i didn’t realize i would have to return it
like an unread library book checked out for an assignment
i also want my jacket back but spray it
with that lilac scent your mom uses
whenever i come over for shepherd’s pie
and the first four harry potter movies
i confuse hogwarts march
with broadway showtunes,
and irish comfort food
with mint-chocolate klondikes
dirty earthworms
crawl on my toes,
my body is wrapped
in a fleece blanket
you also
gave me
the catcher
in the rye
you know
it’s my
favorite
book
APR 17 2014
not because i wanted to maliciously keep it in my possession
- i think you were actually giving it to me anyway -
but because i didn’t realize i would have to return it
like an unread library book checked out for an assignment
i also want my jacket back but spray it
with that lilac scent your mom uses
whenever i come over for shepherd’s pie
and the first four harry potter movies
i confuse hogwarts march
with broadway showtunes,
and irish comfort food
with mint-chocolate klondikes
dirty earthworms
crawl on my toes,
my body is wrapped
in a fleece blanket
you also
gave me
the catcher
in the rye
you know
it’s my
favorite
book
APR 17 2014
the doctor said it’s unhealthy
to think of time
in terms of length
it took me 100 millimeters
to think of
what to say next
APR 16 2014
to think of time
in terms of length
it took me 100 millimeters
to think of
what to say next
APR 16 2014
i should invest in a water-resistant watch
this one says 30 meters,
but i’m skeptical
it doesn’t account for a steady descent into…
i always found the term “murky” to be a bit
dark, dreary, dismal, well-defined
it doesn’t matter what it looks like down here anyway
the atm’s alone rise -
i wish i meant financially -
and my scuba tank fails
i see myself in each bubble -
they’re all so fucking lackadaisical -
each which has left me,
rightly so
they’re all gone now, except one
it would be the heaviest one, wouldn’t it?
i don’t know what’s in it -
chemistry wasn’t my strong suit -
but it sure as hell isn’t air
and i was good enough at physics
to know whatever it is
won’t help me
float
APR 14 2014
this one says 30 meters,
but i’m skeptical
it doesn’t account for a steady descent into…
i always found the term “murky” to be a bit
dark, dreary, dismal, well-defined
it doesn’t matter what it looks like down here anyway
the atm’s alone rise -
i wish i meant financially -
and my scuba tank fails
i see myself in each bubble -
they’re all so fucking lackadaisical -
each which has left me,
rightly so
they’re all gone now, except one
it would be the heaviest one, wouldn’t it?
i don’t know what’s in it -
chemistry wasn’t my strong suit -
but it sure as hell isn’t air
and i was good enough at physics
to know whatever it is
won’t help me
float
APR 14 2014
i only take deep breaths now
each one feels like one less
it’s a countdown
and even though the string of numbers and colons
is too long to fit on the imported chunk of plastic
strapped to my wrist,
if i ever go too long without checking
i’ll eventually piss myself with haste
APR 14 2014
each one feels like one less
it’s a countdown
and even though the string of numbers and colons
is too long to fit on the imported chunk of plastic
strapped to my wrist,
if i ever go too long without checking
i’ll eventually piss myself with haste
APR 14 2014
internet explorer
is ballsier than i am
NOV 30 2013
is ballsier than i am
NOV 30 2013
konstantine creatus
i don’t understand
why don’t people have
the persistent nagging
it’s right there,
back of the head
mind
whatever
pay your dues
do your plays
play your tunes
il n'est fini pas
commencent
NOV 19 2013
i don’t understand
why don’t people have
the persistent nagging
it’s right there,
back of the head
mind
whatever
pay your dues
do your plays
play your tunes
il n'est fini pas
commencent
NOV 19 2013
i feel like john forbes nash
the paranoia part
not the smart part
well, the smart part too
but, hey
modesty, right?
OCT 21 2013
the paranoia part
not the smart part
well, the smart part too
but, hey
modesty, right?
OCT 21 2013